My paper heart
by Karinka-ten
Summary: Sakura has been in love with her besfriend Syaoran most of her life. She saved her heart for him only to find out that he was the biggest miskake she will ever make...Epilogue UP! sry 4 accidntly publishing chp 6 again :
1. Chapter 1

My paper Heart

_Prologue_

The two most important events that changed my life happened when I was five years old. My mother was killed right in front of me. My father decided to move us away from the city and back to the suburbs where he was raised. We were to live in the same house he grew up in.

Since my mother passed away I did not speak a word for three years. My father hired a children psychiatrist with no avail.

"She might never talk again. What Sakura saw could scar her for life." One psychiatrist told him. My father knew it was true but he did not want to hear it. As far as he was concerned, I was going to start talking again, no matter what it took.

I had no friends. I never played outside like most kids my age did. I would stay in my room and draw pictures. I was home schooled by my father.

One day when I was 6 years old, I accidentally kicked my ball outside the door. Without a second thought, I quickly ran after it. I stopped when I saw a boy and his mother crossing the road. They were approaching our house. I stood still. I remembered my mother and the way she once held my hand as we crossed the road. To my surprise, I did not cry. I held my hand to my eyes and yet no tears. Maybe I had cried so much my eyes were out of tears, I thought still gazing blankly ahead.

I did not notice the woman crouching down to my level. She had beautiful amber eyes long brown hair. I blinked and she smiled at me.

"Hello."

I said nothing shifting my gaze to the little boy. He was trying to hide behind the woman.

"You must me Sakura, your father has told me a lot about you. About how much you love swimming and drawing."

I looked at her silent and still.

"Mom, can we go home now. She's weird. Why won't she talk?" A voice came from behind the woman.

She pulled the boy from behind her "Now Syaoran, be nice." She ran her hand over her face "Sakura, this is my son Syaoran. I'm sure you two will be very good friends." He was slightly shorter than I was. He the same features as those of his mother. Beautiful amber eyes, brown hair and tan skin.

The next thing I remember, Syaoran was in my room messing up my clothes. He was talkative and touched everything that meets his eyes. I could not understand half of the things he said. At one point he hit his head on purpose and giggled, "Has anyone ever told you that you're a great listener?"

I stood in the middle of the room. He climbed onto my bed and started bouncing on it. "I can't speak Japanese without mixing it with Chinese so I'm sorry if you can't understand me sometimes."

I slowly sat on the floor keeping my eyes fixed on him.

"Usually I don't like girls but you're pretty cool."

He stopped bouncing then ambled to me "You know what, I like you so much I want to marry you."

I made a face feeling a little sick in the stomach.

"But before we get married there is something cool I want to show you. Well Mom says girls and boys are different. I know why, do you?"

I turned my head then looked at him. I did not have to say anything but it was as if he could read my mind. He pulled down his trousers and I instantaneously screamed. I screamed even louder as he pulled his trousers up.

He panicked and covered his ears. My father and his mother came rushing in. I ran into my fathers arms and softly whispered in his ear "Dad."

He let me go then looked at me. I will never forget the tears in his eyes. He looked amazed.

"What did you say?" He asked after a long pause.

I was silent. He hugged me once more and whispered, "I must be dreaming."

"Syaoran, what did you do?" his mother asked with her hands on her waist.

"Nothing." He said faking an innocent voice.

My father slowly let me go setting his gaze on Syaoran. "Seriously what did you do?" he was trembling "She hasn't said a single word for years."

He looked at his mother who was not impressed then he looked at my father. Suddenly he smirked.

"Well I just showed her my willy. I didn't mean to scare her."

Everyone was now quiet. We were all looking at him as he tried to smile. Suddenly his mother grabbed his hand "Okay, you're grounded and we are going home."

"But Mum!"

His mother smiled at my father "Fudjitaka, I apologize for this. He's usually a good boy."

My father smiled back "No, I really appreciate it."

Her jaw slightly dropped. I do not think she understood how much it meant to my father. In fact, he was so happy he took me to Syaoran's house early the next day. He was late for work, seeing I was walking slowly, he carried me in his arms and knocked hard on the door. There was no answer for the first five minutes.

Finally, Yelan, as I later came to know her, opened the door. She had a robe on and her hair was disheveled.

"My goodness Fudjitaka, it's 6:30."

"Can I leave Sakura here for the day?"

She rubbed her eyes to look at me. I tightened the grip I had my around my fathers neck. "Why?"

"Well I know your son is not going to school since all the schools are closed for the summer and Sakura's babysitter called in. She can't come." My father lied through his teeth. "I think Syaoran is a great influence on Sakura."

She released a short laugh "Oh really?"

My father nodded putting me down.

"Alright, she can stay."

I spent the whole summer there. Sometimes my father would come home late. In spite of our awkward first encounter, I found something comforting about Syaoran. It was not too long before I spoke more than he did. He always said he would marry me because it was written in the stars. I don't think he really understood what he was saying. By the time, I was 12 my father finally decided to send me school. I was reluctant to go. Syaoran was the only person other than my father that I spoke to.

"Real school is much more fun. You get to meet all sorts of people." He told me a week before school started.

"But I don't want to meet new people. I'm happy with things as they are."

"You will be fine. I promise."

The first days of school were difficult. I had trouble making friends. Syaoran was a grade ahead of me so he was not there. Whenever recess came, I would hurry out of class and wait for him in front of his classroom. I was certain that his friends did not like me but it did not bother me. Syaoran wanted me around despite what his friends told him.

"You've got such beautiful skin. What do you use?" A girl asked me once in the girls' bathroom.

I smiled, I was not used to compliments from strangers "Well, I take a shower at least twice a day."

She laughed aloud "In other words you're naturally pretty."

I shook my head "No; I'm too skinny." I told her coyly.

"Here, that's a good thing."

I shook my head confused.

"You've got a models body. I bet you look good in anything. You would look awesome in my latest design. Do you wear make up?"

I shook my head.

"Even better!" she said clapping her hands.

"Uh..."

"You can come to my house on Saturday. By the way I'm Tomoyo." She took out a card from her handbag "Here are all my details."

After school, I told Syaoran all about it on our way home.

"So you're hanging out with an actual girl?" he asked being slightly overdramatic.

"Yeah, she is so cool."

That evening we went to the cinema. I managed to get Syaoran to watch Titanic. After the movie, I rushed to the bathroom. I felt like I had pied on myself. When I was finally in the toilet, my eyes nearly popped out and tears came streaming down my eyes. I took out my phone and sent Syaoran a text message asking him to come into the bathroom.

"Sakura?" I heard his voice.

There was no one else in the bathroom and I knew Syaoran would not mind coming into the women's bathroom.

"I think I'm dying." I cried.

"What….Why would you say that!" I could sense the panic in his voice.

"I'm bleeding."

I could hear his footsteps as he moved closer to the door. "Bleeding? Where?" he asked confused.

I sniffled "Uh…down there. It's all over."

To my surprise, he laughed. He would not stop. I frowned "Damn it Syaoran! I can't believe you, I don't know what's happening to me and you're not making things better. You're such a prick!"

"You're not dying." He said between giggles.

"Huh, how do you know? Has this ever happened to you?"

He laughed even harder "No! Thank goodness."

I frowned and started to cry once more. His laughter died.

"You're on your period."

"My what?"

"It's this monthly thing girls go through. It will be over in a couple of days."

I was still confused "Why girls?"

"Because you have babies and—I'm not sure. I have sisters; they say it's a real bitch. You mean to tell me that you really do not know what it is. Didn't your father tell you?"

"No." I muttered in a low tone.

"What should I do?"

"Uh….use the toilet paper then we can go to my house. My mom will know how to help."

"Okay."

The next day when I went to Tomoyo's house, she was in her room lying on her bed. "Are you alright?"

She smiled "Hi, sorry I couldn't answer the door. I got cramps. I started my period yesterday."

I sat on her bed excited "You have yours too?"

She nodded looking at me as if I was strange "I mean, of course you do. I also got mine yesterday."

"What time?"

I got up finally noticing how beautiful her room was "Around 9:30 at night"

"I got mine when I came home from school. That means I'm 7 hrs more mature than you are."

"Really?" I asked confused.

She nodded sure of herself. She sat up and asked "Tell me what you were doing and what you did."

I ambled to her study table and started looking at drawing of her designs "Well, I told Syaoran and he said…"

"Wait…" she interrupted "Is Syaoran that guy you are always with?"

I nodded and smiled "Yes."

Tomoyo purposely hit her forehead "How could you? He is a guy, guys are not suppose to know when you are on your period. "

"Why?"

"Because….just because. They are immature and they don't understand."

I heaved a sigh "Well he is not like most guys, Syaoran knows a lot of things. He's mature."

Tomoyo rolled her eyes "There is no such thing. Knowing many things does not make you mature. Don't you know that?"

"I was home schooled and my Dad is barely home. I only have one friend. We don't even own a TV; my father says Television is not good for a growing child. My mother died when I was four."

Tomoyo's eyes widened. "I'm sorry. Oh man! There is so much you need to learn."

I looked at her drawings once more "Do you like to draw?"

Tomoyo smiled "Yeap, I'm getting better everyday."

"Me too."

As cliché as this it, it marked the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

I slowly saw myself transform, I was no longer the naïve tomboy who had been home schooled. Syaoran was not bothered by this change, he was still my best friend. He said my outer appearance did not change who I was. I realize that men and women are not alike. All my life I thought Syaoran was the mature one, but the older I got the more I saw how immature he really was. The more he told himself he was mature for his age the more immature he appeared.

Nonetheless, I was crazy about him. Growing up, I was able to explore my feelings for him. I did not want him to be my best friend. In my heart I wanted more. I wanted him to love me the way I loved him all my life. When he touched me or held hand, even when he spoke to me, my heartbeat would reach Fahrenheit. I could hardly breath around him. I was very clumsy, he would always laugh at me. He believed I was naturally like that. I watched him become a man. I listened to him when he spoke of other girls. I bit back the truth and pretended I was alright. I was so in love with him that I dedicated my time to him. Sometimes it drove me crazy, it was a suffocating feeling. I never had time to have boyfriend. I could not think of other guys in that way. I got asked out a lot and not once did I accept. There was a time when a rumor spread across school that I was a lesbian. I did not admit or deny it, soon enough everyone forgot about it.

"Why didn't you just tell them it's not true?" Syaoran asked me one winter evening.

"I don't think I owe it to anyone to prove that I am not a lesbian."

He croaked his head then smirked "Then why don't you go on dates like everyone else. The guys at school are constantly talking about you in the locker room. They are continuously asking to hook them up with you or for your number."

"You wouldn't understand. I don't want to waist my time dating. I'd rather date one guy then marry him."

He rolled his eyes "You are seventeen. You won't know what's out there unless you date. I mean you have to kiss a few frogs before you find prince charming right?" he's gaze swallowed me.

"Come on, I'm not like you. I don't know how you manage to have to have a new girlfriend every week and you are never satisfied or happy."

He pondered then nodded "True, but…you're not really planning on staying a virgin till you get married are you?"

"I am. Gees Syaoran sometimes I think you don't respect my moral values."

"And you're decision has nothing to do with the fact that your father decided to become a preacher?"

I shook my head slowly.

"Well, I plan to stay single forever. I don't understand why anyone would want to wait. What if you marry when you are forty? Besides its fun and it feels good. I have had many opportunities but the minute I'm ready for a serous relationship I'm going for it. My cousin did it when he was thirteen."

I heaved a sigh and shook my head "You sure love to talk about sex. You sound like those kids in the peer pressure videos they forced us to watch during gym."

"I can't help it that I think about it alot."

I took two steps ahead of him "There is more to life."

"When you meet someone who sweeps you off your feet, you will forget your so called moral values."

I rolled my eyes.

A few weeks after we had the conversation. I overheard Syaoran's latest victim talking about how he made love to her in the backseat of his car. I was hurt; I did not understand why it hurt me so much. I never asked him about it. I did not want to hear it from his mouth. He never spoke about relationships to me again.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

CHAPTER 1  
a summers night

_(Normal POV)_

_  
Three years later_

"So who are you bringing to your fathers' banquet?" Yelan asked Syaoran sweeping his new apartment with her big brown eyes."

Syaoran looked at her "Uh…Sakura."

Her thin eyebrows descended "Sakura is a nice girl and all and you know how much I adore her but, she is very clumsy. She wasn't built for these kind of things if you know what I mean."

"Who would you suggest I bring?"

"Hitomi." She said referring to Syaoran's previous girlfriend "She is beautiful, a talented pianist, smart and from good family."

Syaoran opened the fridge muttering; "She's also a slut."

Yelan took a deep breath. "It's just that when you are with Sakura, you are very immature."

He took out a bottle of beer "Some people would call that happiness. I know how boring these banquets always are. I'm only going to enjoy it if Sakura is with me."

"Why are drinking this early, it's not even noon?"

"It's all I got right now in my fridge."

She looked uncomfortable "Let me go shopping for you. I can hire my interior designer to come decorate your apartment."

"Mother I'm fine, will you let me handle this." He took a sip of his beer.

"I worked my ass off in university so I can work at this law firm. I want to make it without you or Dad's help. Like normal people."

She picked out a strand of hair from her jacket "You are not normal, you are an heir. Your grandfather was an important figure in China."

Syaoran shrugged "I won't let my fortune determine who I am going to be."

"Well, I still think you should have worked for your father. Let me at least get you groceries. You can't live on pizza and beer for the rest of your life."

…

That evening Syaoran waited outside Sakura's apartment. She always took long to get ready but he found it difficult to get used to. She came out in a mini black cocktail dress. Her hair curled beautifully around her face. Her emerald eyes stood out remarkably.

"Thanks for inviting me." She said as they drove to the hotel where the banquet was to be held.

"No problem, you look beautiful." He said casually.

She grinned "Really? Thanks. I just threw this on. I had nothing to wear."

He smirked "Knowing you, you probably went shopping."

She playfully hit his shoulder "Fine, I used the money I was supposed to use for the rent."

"My mother suggested I bring Hitomi."

Sakura laughed aloud "Your mother is twisted. She knows about Hitomi reputation and she still wants you two together."

"You're telling me. She wants to control my life. She even suggested I move back to the mansion."

"She probably misses you."

He looked at her for a second "You're a great friend. I know I can be a real jerk sometimes but you still come with me to all these stupid events I am obliged to attend."

She shrugged "Someone has to."

The banquet was everything they expected. In the first hour, Syaoran's father introduced him to rich executives. Later, Syaoran spotted Hitomi talking to a man next to the bar.

"Don't mind her. She's doing it on purpose." Sakura said taking a sip of her wine.

"I know, it's just that…you know how much I hate loosing. She cheated then broke up with me when I caught her in the act."

Sakura rolled her eyes. Something strange came over her; she put her hands around Syaoran's neck. He simply laughed looking at her puzzled. Suddenly her lips were against his. She softly kissed him moving her hand to his waist. Syaoran felt like she was absorbing him. He closed his eyes and kissed her back. His heart started to beat past its normal rate. The blood rushed through his veins. He kissed her back even harder. He wanted to know what it was that was making his body respond the way it was. He held her closer, the feeling only grew stronger. Suddenly, to his disappointment, she pulled away. She winked at him wiping away the smudge her lipstick left on the side of his upper lip.

She walked past him as though nothing had happened "I'm going to the bar, my glass is empty."

Syaoran held his hand to his lips. Her kiss felt almost deadly, his heart was still beating very hard. He followed her to the bar. When she saw him approaching her she hurried towards his direction "Syaoran, it's a buy one get one freeee…." Her leg somehow got tangled around one of the cords. "Hoe…!" she yelled falling into Syaoran's arms. She spilt the red wine unto his shirt.

Syaoran merely laughed it off "You're such a klutz. At least now, I know that you are not going out of your mind."

"I'm sorry." She apologized trying to stand.

…

When the party ended, Syaoran drove her back to her apartment. She insisted he come up for a chat and coffee. This was normal right? They did this kind of stuff together all the time. In the elevator, Syaoran couldn't help but ask…

"So what was up with the kiss?"

Sakura's face turned bright red "I wanted to make Hitomi jealous for your sake. I also hate the bitch."

He chuckled "Such strong words coming from the preachers' daughter."

"Oh yes! You had to remind me. In the morning you won't remember a thing."

"I don't think I can forget that. I think I felt your tongue in my mouth."

The elevator stopped on the seventh floor and the couple ambled out "I was just being a friend. I know you would have done the same thing."

She opened the apartment door. Her apartment was rather small. Unlike his, the bedroom, the kitchen and the living room were squeezed together in one small room.

"Sorry for the mess. I've been busy."

"What mess?" he asked sarcastically. He walked up to the kitchen and opened the fridge "Don't you have any boos?"

"Haven't you had enough? Besides, you know I don't keep alcohol in my apartment."

He closed the fridge "I wasn't the one drinking, you were. I'm surprised you're not drunk?"

Sakura took a deep breath, she did not want to answer to him "I love summer nights."

He nodded. "Hey, you think I can use your bathroom. I need to do something about this stain."

"Sure."

He was only gone for a few minutes when he yelled out her name. Sakura rushed to the bathroom. The door was wide open.

"I can't close the tap."

Sakura giggled "Spoilt rich kid."

"Hey, what did I say about calling me that." He joked, "It's not my fault nothing in your apartment works."

Sakura pressed hard on the tap and the water stopped "There, easy."

Syaoran raised his shoulders. Sakura finally realized that Syaoran was not wearing his shirt anymore. She turned aside then looked at him once more. She would not overcome the feelings of lust that were growing in her heart. She thought of the passionate kiss they shared at the banquet, how it was everything she had wanted it to be. She was aware of the sinful nature of her thoughts but she failed to block them. Her skin tingled and her legs quivered.

"Are you alright." He asked her.

She shook her head hard "Uh, no. I was just thinking about every thing we've seen together. You have been there for me, since I was a little girl and…"

As he moved closer so did their faces, her heart was erupting in her throat "What are you doing?" she dared to ask. He held her hand. Their hands were clasped tightly. He was not sure of what he was doing but he knew he wanted to discover the feeling she gave him when they kissed. He closed his eyes and whispered, "I don't know…all I'm sure of is that I want to do this. It feels right."

He kissed her lips and she did not hesitate to kiss him back. His lips moved slowly above hers. She was taking everything out of him. She ran her fingers through his hair pulling him closer to her. Now her breasts were against his chest. He lost felt himself loosing control. He trapped her against the bathroom wall next to the door. Sakura moaned under his touch.

He sucked and kissed her long neck. It was like fire against her skin. She held tightly unto him. It was happening too fast. She knew that if the was any slower she was to explode. His hands roamed ever inch of her slender body. The goosebumps on her skin gave him as sense of direction. He tasted her mouth once more. It was as if he was reading her mind. He knew exactly where to touch her and how to do it. His hands moved from her waist to down to her bottom. He gently squeezed it then suddenly pulling her dress over her legs. His body pressed hard against hers.

"_Is it normal that I'm seriously horny right now? We've just started"_ She kissed his lips and muttered "Hurry up."

She felt his member harden between her inner thighs. His actions made her even more aroused. She suppressed a moan. His hands were gently rubbing her inner thighs before he abruptly pulled down her damp underwear halfway down her thighs.

Suddenly he withdrew his body from hers. This left her body feeling cold and abandoned. She pulled her panties up her face bright red.

"Have you changed your mind?"

He swallowed hard "That's not it. Are you sure you want to go through with this cause there is no going back."

She ambled to the bedroom. He practically tore off her dress in his quest to get it off. The room was dim. He was now standing behind her. She turned around and placed her hands around his neck.

"I need you to make love to me before I explode."

He flashed her a naughty grin.

……………

His eyes were fixed on her. He had watched her sleep for almost an hour. The sheets covered bits of her body giving him even more to admire about her. He took a sip of his coffee leaning back on the chair he grabbed from her study desk. He took a deep breath as thoughts of the previous night consumed his mind.

"Morning." He voice said. He shook his head trying to shake the thought.

She moved the sheets to cover the rest of her body "What time is it?" she asked tiredly.

"Uh, half past five. I have to get back home and get ready for work."

"Don't remind me." She sighed.

Suddenly there was an awkward moment of silence they seldom has. Unexpectedly she giggled eyeing him from his toes up to his head. He was only wearing his boxers.

"What's so funny?" his face was as red as a ripe tomato.

"Spiderman boxers, that's real cute. I thought you for over your secret obsession with comic books."

He smiled back at her "Well, I didn't know I'd be…." He blushed even more "spending the night."

Her face was red now. She moved her hand underneath her head "I can't believe we really…"

He looked at her then coyly shifted his gaze to the ground. He's never been shy to talk about it up to now. "Yeah, me to." He finally looked at her. There was smirk on his face.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you. I got a job offer at Zain animation studios. They want me to take the place of their previous graphic designer."

His face lightened up "Wow, I'm so proud of you. To think you only graduated from college a month ago. But isn't that a thousand miles from here?"

She nodded "I know, I really don't want to leave home. I might just turn it down, I don't want to be far from….my friends." She swallowed the actual words she meant to say.

"True, I understand. I mean…" he paused "I wouldn't want you to move."

He stood up abruptly "I better put my clothes on and get out of here."

On his way out, Sakura stood by the door. She was wore a silk pink robe that went above her knees. He stood next to her now in the clothes he wore the previous night "We really need talk about this and us."

She nodded "Of course."

He was silent for a while before he gave her a peck on the cheek. Then he gave her a peck on the other cheek. Then he gave her a quick kiss on her mouth. He kissed her once more and she responded eagerly. She placed hands on his waist and pulled him closer. She was not wearing anything under her robe. Her breasts pressed tightly against his chest, he could not resist her.

Suddenly she pulled away "You better get to work. You don't want to be late." He nodded then left.

Sakura was confused. It was not the way she had imagined it would be. Everything seemed like it happened so fast. She smiled at herself, it was still what she wanted. She cleaned up her apartment and took a shower.

Late in the morning, Tokyo came to visit.

"You what?!" Tomoyo yelped nearly falling off the chair.

"You heard me." Sakura blushed not wanting to repeat herself.

"Hmmm…it was about time. You are two very attractive people. As much as you take your friendship seriously, it was inevitable of you to have sex. You have loved him all your life. I knew you were saving your virginity for him."

Sakura didn't know whether to smile or not.

"So how was he, please, you must tell me."  
Sakura took a few steps from Tomoyo "It was wonderful…I think I cried. I've never felt so happy."

Tomoyo had to accept the little information Sakura provided, after all Sakura was not one to go into details about such things.

"So what's next?"

"I don't know." She muttered.

To be continued

**Reviews pls**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own ccs, clamp does

My paper hear 2  
**What ever happened to Sakura?**

Syaoran accidentally flashed a smirk that could only raise suspicion. He slightly tilted his head drawing the can of soda to his mouth then suddenly placing it back on the table. It was already half past six; the sun had long left the sky. His roommate stared at him curiously. He had not been himself all day. He was withdrawn and carried around a dreamy smile that he was trying so hard to hide.

"Alright, who did you shag?" Eriol asked with a heavy British accent.

Syaoran laughed then bit his lower lip. He was trying to avoid looking at his friend. Lately his face had a tendency of making expressions he had no control over. "Uh…it was." He took a deep breath "I never realized how much I…I usually fall asleep straight after…I couldn't stop looking at her, I can't believe I'm only seeing this now. I can't stop thinking about her and…" he could not formulate a proper sentence. He looked up at Eriol questionably "Do you understand what I'm trying to say."

Eriol rose his shoulders then quickly allowed them to descend "No but who was she?"

He smiled "Sakura." He loved the way her name rolled off his tongue.

Eriol scratched his head "You're not serious. Dude if you guys ever plan to be friends again forget about it. Sex makes things awkward you know. Every time you see her, you will remember how she looks like naked, how she felt. Aren't you the same guy who always said friends are off limits?"

"That was before we kissed. I didn't think I could feel this way about her."

Eriol's expression changed "So are these feelings real?"

Syaoran was taken aback by Eriol's reaction. He nodded "I'm not sure. I've always loved her and I've always known how special she is but I never let my feelings for her extend beyond that until now. My relationships never work; I was never friends with any of my ex's because I felt like I didn't need that when I had Sakura. "

"And when you two break up?" Eriol raised an eyebrow.

"If…" Syaoran corrected, "I thought about it all day. If I don't tell her, know I'll be missing out on something that only few people only ever get to experience."

"When did you become Mr. Romantic? All three years I've known you, you've never even said the word love."

Syaoran sighed then took a deep breath "I know how this looks, imagine how I feel? It's not like I'm going to tell her anyway."

Eriol's jaw dropped "Why? You've already slept with her anyway. Your friendship has already been jeopardized!"

"If I tell her and she returns my feelings, I won't be able to take care of her or appreciate her. I wouldn't deserve a girl like her. With my kind of past, She's an angel and I'm…just an idiot. What happens if she doesn't feel the same way?"

"But she slept with you, Sakura doesn't seem to be the type to easily throw herself to a guy."

Syaoran nodded "You have a point. I'll tell her tonight."

"Tomoyo and I have planned kind of a small party at her place tonight at 8. We have an announcement. I'm sure Sakura will be there." Eriol stood up and grabbed his car keys from the counter.

"Are you leaving now?"

"Yeah, have to help her cook. Cheers."

………………

Sakura knocked on a brown of door Tomoyo's apartment. She tightly held onto the tray of pasta she had prepared for the gathering. She knocked once more when the door slowly opened.

"I thought you said you were having a small party…" Sakura paused "and what are you doing in your robe, it's nearly 8."

Tomoyo smiled sheepishly, she leaned on the door and whispered "Well Eriol dropped by and we were cooking for tonight when…" she blushed slightly excited "we did it on the kitchen counter.

Sakura swallowed hard showing a look of distaste "There goes my appetite." She shook off the disturbing image and settled her gaze on Tomoyo. "So, should I come back later?"

Tomoyo held Sakura's arm "No come in."

Sakura ambled into an apartment where there was nothing but cardboard boxes. Only the furniture remained. There were no pictures on the wall and nothing on the floor. Everything was bare.

Sakura looked around once more in disbelief "Are you moving?"

Tomoyo smiled "Yes, I'm moving in with Eriol."

Sakura settled the tray of pasta on a table "But Eriol lives in England."

"That's the big announcement, I'm going to England."

Sakura's mouth automatically opened.

Tomoyo ran a hand through her long raven hair "Don't look at me like that."

"You've only been dating for two months." Sakura lowered her tone.

"I really like him. I'm so happy you introduced us. He's romantic, handsome, has a sexy accent and is amazing in bed. He makes me smile."

Sakura rolled her eyes "So you're leaving me."

Tomoyo walked in front of Sakura "You have Syaoran. Did you tell him you dropped the job offer just so you can be with him?"

Sakura shook her head. "Not yet. I don't want to interrupt him on his first day at work."

"Well he's coming over. You can finally talk about your relationship." Tomoyo leaned over to Sakura's ear and whispered, "Whatever you do, do not sleep with him again until you have sorted the meaning of your relationship."

Sakura's face was bright red now.

Before she could say anything Eriol walked into the room in his boxers "Oh, Hi Sakura."

Sakura merely forced her lips to stretch.

"Do you mind passing me my trousers. You are standing on them."

"Right…." Sakura felt a little out of place.

When she was ready to hand the trousers over to him, he had Tomoyo on in his hands, embracing her. Tomoyo stared lovingly back at him.

………………………

The first guest, Chiharu arrived approximately at 8.10. She had a cigarette between her fingers—as usual. She wore a white vest, a long beaded necklace and denim skinny jeans. She looked astonishing. She had a fringe and her hair red reached all the way up to her neck. eyes. In the past she was Daddy's spoilt little girl but college turned her into a rock star.

"Where's the bathroom?" was the first question she asked, "Did you bring anything. I absolutely forgot about this."

"I brought pasta but Eriol and Tomoyo have decided to order Chinese."

"This guy on the bus offered me a fucken drink; do I look like a damn alcoholic?"

She dragged on the cigarette when Tomoyo walked in with a frown "Dammit Chiharu not in my apartment, how many times do I have to tell you!"

"Geez, I'll get rid of it!"

'_I stood on the side and watched them argue, I have been friends with them most of my life yet inside I always felt like I didn't really fit in with them. No matter how I convinced myself, I was always the odd one out. I could not keep my eyes off them. On the one had we had Tomoyo—she never complained and was not ashamed to say anything especially when it came to her sexuality. Then we had Chiharu who evolved into a rebel, she had a way of attracting people, maybe it's because she talks too much. She was not ashamed of anything. I am nothing like them. No matter how much I hurt, I bottle it all in. Not even Syaoran could free me from that. I was ashamed of my life and sometimes of who I am.'_

Takashi arrived a few minutes after Chiharu. Takashi always had a way of bringing up answers to questions that no one asked.

"You know Tomoyo is right. Think of what you are doing to your lungs."

Chiharu stuck her tongue out at him "Who asked you?"

To most people this kind of scene would me unexpected, inappropriate and unbearable, but for them, this was normal. It had been like this all through high school.

Sakura felt uneasy, it was nearly nine and the food had been delivered. Everyone was sitting on the apartment floor since there were only two chairs in the whole apartment. Still no sign of Syaoran. She barely spoke a word. She did not have the energy to contribute to the conversation of why men have nipples.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Though her heart jumped, her body remained grounded. Tomoyo stood up quickly and rushed for the door.

In less that a minute they were in the same room. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye then looked at everyone else.

"Sorry I'm late, my boss called me back to the office. He was being such an ass." His eyes swept every corner of the room. He was confused.

"What's going on?"

"Tomoyo is leaving for England with Eriol and…" Sakura's words were cut off when Chiharu intervened.

"We're moving to the Philippines." She tightly wrapped her hand around Takashi's neck.

"What do you mean 'we'?" Takashi muttered under her tight grip.

Sakura was quiet from there on, she was starting to wonder if turning down the job offer was really the right thing to do. When Syaoran looked at her all thoughts of doubt were deleted from her mind.

He could not keep his eyes off of her. She left a special feeling inside of him simply by staring back. She would coyly smile whenever they're eyes meet and he'd smile back.

"What's wrong with you two, you are never this quiet?" Eriol asked shifting glances between them.

"Nothing." They said at the same time.

While everyone else was getting drunk, Sakura purposely stood up to go to the bathroom. It was less than 10 minutes when Syaoran disappeared from the crowd as well.

They met in the bathroom where they made sure the door was locked. He stood on one side of the room and she on the other.

"Hi." He said calmly forgetting everything else.

"Hey."

"You look beautiful…" he could not stop looking at her.

"Thanks."

Her gaze was sending him to despair, he moved closer to her and her to him. His fingertips were itching to feel this exquisite beauty. They stood close to each other, their bodies facing each other. His toes pointing at hers and hers at his. His hand slowly moved up to her shoulder then he pulled it away as though her skin had burnt him.

"Here we are again, the two of us alone in a bathroom." He whispered.

She did not blink.

He found the courage to place a gentle hand on her chin. She was his escape, a drug. He never thought that he was capable of wanting a woman the way he wanted her there and then. He failed to resist the urge to introduce his lips to hers once more. He kissed her deeply, softly with unquestionable passion. She followed every rule there was to the act kissing.

He positioned each of his hands on the side of her hips "Be my escape…" he urged whispering in her lips. He kissed her jaw line and as he advanced to her neck, she convinced herself that she needed to make love to him once more. His lips trailed up to her collar bone.

"I must have you." He said between kisses.

"Syaoran…" she whimpered barely able to catch her breath.

Suddenly something vibrated, for Sakura, it was a wake up call. She could not allow this to go any further. She slowly pulled away, looking in his eyes "I think your phone is vibrating."

He blinked hard then shook his head "Oh yes, it's a text message, I'll look at it later."

He bent his head to kiss her once more when she reluctantly pulled her face away.

"We need to talk about this, about us before we think about doing it again."

He nodded agreeably. He gave her a look he had never given her before. He's features softened as he stared back at her. He's hands refused to leave her hips.

"Uh…I don't know where to begin."

Neither did he, he felt like his lips were suddenly glued together.

"I need to know where we are taking this. I really adore you Syaoran and I've…." She was interrupted when the ring tone of his phone went on.

"Sorry…" he apologized sincerely.

She took a deep breath "I think you better answer that." She needed time to think of what she really wanted to say.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

He kissed her forehead and whispered, "You mean everything to me Sakura." A tinge of pink crawled up to her cheeks.

He left the bathroom and she waited. She thought of what she was going to say then she waited. She finally came up with something, and then she waited. 20 minutes had passed since Syaoran left the bathroom. She made her way to the balcony where everyone else was sitting.

"Where have you been?" Eriol asked her, there was no sign of Syaoran.

"Have you seen Syaoran?" she ignored Eriol's question.

"He left like 10 minutes ago, he just walked out. He never even said where he was going."

"Oh." She said plainly.

"Why don't you join us?" Chiharu insisted holding a bottle of wine "You know, this could be our last night together."

She merely shook her head "Uh no…I'm tired, I'll just have to call it a night. Bye."

She ambled up to the door when Tomoyo ran after her "Hey, are you okay?"

Sakura smiled "I'm great, it's just been a long day and besides I've got work tomorrow morning. The last thing I need is a hangover."

Tomoyo hugged Sakura "Alright. You do realize this is goodbye. Eriol and I are leaving in the morning. I'm going to miss you cherry blossom."

"And I you fluffy bunny."

In Junior high, the two friends had created nicknames for each other. Tomoyo was now in tears "Don't forget to invite me to the wedding."

Sakura could only pretend to smile.

That evening she attempted to call Syaoran a few times, his phone was off. She did not sleep; she had her phone next to her pillow. She found herself crying, she could not hold the tears back. She was confused, why did he not tell her he was leaving. How could he leave her like that, she felt ashamed.

In the early hours of the morning, she left him a voice message asking him to meet her at the park late in the afternoon. With the way he was behaving, she doubted in her mind that she he would show up.

She sat on a bench with he hands folded over her chest. The scenery was beautiful. The sky was orange and the trees seemed to stretched all the way up to the sky. She took a deep breath, suddenly she felt relaxed. The feeling soon died when she heard the sound of his voice.

"Sakura…" his voice was heavy, his lips barely moved.

He was standing a short distance from her. He looked handsome with his sleeves rolled up and his tie hanging loosely around his neck. She fixed her dress feeling rather small.

"Where were you yesterday?" she went straight for the kill.

"I can't explain."

He wore a stern look that made her two afraid to question him further. She took a few steeps closer to him.

"I'm not clumsy." The words jumped right out of her mouth.

He looked like he was hurting inside, his eyes were covered by a clear layer of tears "Oh really." He smirked.

"You're hurt; please tell me…what's wrong."

He was silent still.

"I'm insanely in love with you Syaoran." She held his hand "I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember."

He was did not move, he kept a solid face in spite of the tears on his eyes. She concluded that he did not love her. He hands trembled. She slowly released his hand.

"Do think you can love me back."

His eyes shifted to the ground "I can't, Sakura forget me from your heart. It's not worth it."

"But…"

He abruptly raised his head "Damn it Sakura! You just had to ruin it all!" he yelled at her making her tremble.

He grabbed her shoulder then yelled again shaking her, "Everything we did was meaningless to me."

A tear ran from her eye "I slept with you." She muttered.

"Not everything has to have feelings attached to it. Grow up Sakura. It was just sex. Besides you have your job offer, I'd only get in the way."

She gasped trying hard to hold the tears.

"Please, forget me from your heart." He begged.

Her eyes were drunk with tears. He released her slowly "I'm leaving for Hong Kong, goodbye Sakura."

_Sakura's POV_

All my friends were gone, the only man I loved could not find it in his heart to love me back and I turned down a job for him. I found myself lonely, back to where I was before I ever met Syaoran Li. I did not speak to anyone nor did I have any friends. I slept in my bed all day wondering what I did wrong. I though of the events that lead to his betrayal. He did not care about how I felt…he did not care about me. I thought I knew him. Something was obviously wrong with him but he did not trust me. How the hell did our relationship change so drastically?

I did not go to work for a whole week, I could not return to the photo studio where I worked as an assistant. I just wanted to die.

I turned off my phone. I felt like I needed to disappear from the face of the planet. After a week, I noticed that I was running out of food and my landlord slid various warnings promising to evict me in matter of days. So I moved back home.

"Don't you have your own place now?" my father questioned when he found me in the kitchen preparing a meal.

I did not want to see his face; I softly answered, "Please may I stay here for awhile."

"This is your home, of course but why?"

I half turned "I can't explain…" I wanted to cry.

I rushed out of the kitchen and back up to my room.

My life was a cycle; I woke up, cleaned up, ate, slept, watched TV, walked outside and slept. I did not share meals with my father nor did I wish to. He was a pastor, being around him only reminded me of my sin.

One day I got very ill, I vomited after I woke up in the morning. The next day was the same. I was not troubled my it much. I felt like no illness is worse than unrequited love. A few days later I was walking through the Isle in the pharmacy looking for pills for my headaches and dad had a flu.

On my way to the counter, I couldn't help but notice the boxes of home pregnancy tests on the shelf. They were so many and there was a sign saying "30 percent off."

Suddenly it hit me…the sickness…my body somehow felt like it was going through changes. No but wait, he wore a condom. I remembered that night vividly. I remembered how anxious I was when he spoilt the moment by insisting he wear a condom. There was no way I could be pregnant. In any case, I grabbed the box just to be on the safe side.

The woman at the counter was a friend of my father. As she scanned the box, she looked at me questionably.

"It's for my friend." I lied. The woman had a reputation of being very talkative.

She shook her head "The amount of accidental pregnancies in this neighborhood is increasing everyday. Just last week I found out that one of my daughter's 15-year-old friends is pregnant. She cried saying her boyfriend used a condom. It's not very often you hear about a condom breaking during intercourse. Anyway…." I stopped listening after that. It was as if she read my mind.

My heart stopped beating. Beads of sweat tumbled down my face. I grabbed the groceries and made her my way to the car. My hands were shaking; I could barely get the keys into the ignition. I gave up resting my head on the car wheel.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" I yelled banging my head against the wheel.

When I reached home, I hurried to the bathroom. The result was no surprise….I was pregnant. Why me, I was not ready to bring a child of Syaoran Li into this cruel dark world. I did not want to bear the burden of having to take care of any one else other than myself. How the hell was I going to provide for my baby?

I cried all day. The thought of giving birth and not having Syaoran there killed me. Despite my feelings about it and my worries about the future, I wanted to keep the baby. I did not tell my father nor did I leave the house to go to the hospital. Everyday I would look for information on the internet about pregnancy and childbirth. I tried my best to take care of myself. Four months passed when one day my father shouted at me from outside my door.

"Sakura, you are having dinner with me tonight whether you like it or not. I will not tolerate this behaviour any longer."

I panicked, I tried to find a jacket…anything to hide the pregnancy. I found an old football jacket which helped a little.

At dinner, my father looked at me puzzled "Why are you wearing a jacket. It's hot in here."

"I'm cold."

"Don't you care anymore, your hair is disheveled. You look tortured and lost. Pleas let me help you."

I took a sip of water "Father I'm fine."

He put his fork down and cleared his throat "How many months are you?"

I crumbled; tears came rolling down my face "I'm sorry!" I looked down as the tears dripped on the table "I let you down. I know the last thing a pastor would want is an unmarried pregnant daughter. Forgive me."

"You must first forgive yourself and repent."

I was quiet and shocked at how he was handling the situation.

"You are too young to be a mother. I cannot support this child for you Sakura; you know I don't get paid alot. Whose the father?"

"Li Syaoran." I muttered still in tears "He does not love me; I don't want him to know. I don't want to ever see him again."

My father took a deep breath "You can give the baby up for adoption."

"No!" I cried aloud "This is all I have now. The only thing I have left to live for. I'll get a job, I'll do anything!"

He shook his head, "You must get married."

"Huh?"

I was confused. I understood the meaning of my father's words when I found a man sitting in the living room the next day. It was before dinner. He had short blonde hair and baby blue eyes. He had a firm jaw line, he's lips barely moved when he spoke. There was not much one can say about him.

I was not happy with the idea but went along with it anyway. My father encouraged me to date him. He told me that I would learn to love Ian. Ian was old fashioned. He was in his late twenties and he believed in arranged marriage and was somewhat desperate for a wife. He was a member of my father's congregation and an architect. To be honest, the man bored me. I found it a challenge to converse with him.

He never asked me about the pregnancy, how it made me feel or how it happened. Syaoran's name never came up. I assumed he just didn't care.

On the night that he proposed to me, he said "I don't care that you are pregnant, your child can be ours. No one knows about it but your father and me. I'll take care of you. I promise we'll have everything, a big house and money. You will never have to suffer."

"Thank you." I replied. I know how unappreciative I sounded but I could not help it.

I accepted his proposal. I was certain that he was a man of his word and I felt like love was not an important component in our relationship. Love only brought pain. We had a low key wedding with my father and his parents.

……………………….

Asuna was born on February 12, right before Valentines Day. Her hair was chestnut like her fathers and her eyes were emerald like mine. Sometimes when I looked at her, I would remember Syaoran. My heart would ache for what would have been. She had her father's smile and dimples.

I valued her more than I have anything. After she was born, I moved in with Ian. It was a happy time. Though Ian did not take much interest in Asuna, he was happy that I was smiling and being a perfect wife. I cooked for him everyday and brought him his newspapers and glasses. It had been an old-fashioned life style.

One night after I put Asuna to bed, Ian was sitting on our bed. Though we were married, we never touched nonetheless kissed. He's hug me occasionally but nothing more. I could not complain. Even though we slept on the same bed, nothing happened. I could not imagine myself being intimate with him.

I gently closed the door behind me. "I can't believe how long it took for her to fall asleep." I said happily.

"Come here." He said pointing at a space next to him.

I sat next to him "I know you avoid being intimate with me because the last man you were intimate with broke your heart."

I kept my eyes fixed on him.

"Asuna is nearly a year old and…we've been married for sometime. I thinks it's about time we start having sex."

My eyebrows shot up. I nervously laughed trying to think of the best excuse. He held my hand then whispered in my ears.

"Take off your clothes."

I skipped a beat "Uh, can we do this tomorrow. I'm not…"

He kissed me on the lips. He's kiss was quick and wet. I sat still as he took off my clothes. He kissed my skin. I could not help but quiver. I felt dirty when he touched me. I tried to force myself to love it but I couldn't. I could only think of Syaoran's hands on me, his lips against mine. I imagined Syaoran making love to me. I hated myself for it, why was my heart still clinging on a man that broke my heart. It was his entire fault I found myself in a loveless marriage with a man I could barely stand.

That night was one of the worst nights of my life. My body could not respond to his body. I was like a corpse. The only thing I felt was pain. Each thrust was more painful than the last. When he was done with me, he moved to his side of the bed and fell asleep. I rushed to the bathroom for a quick shower.

Three and half years passed. Asuna was four years old. Ian stuck to his promises. He provided us a lovely home and security.

We sat in the yard all morning. She played in the sand box in her pink bathing suit while I painted her from afar. She stood up and walked up to me.

"Mommy what are you painting?"

I carried her and sat her on my lap. "You."

She giggled then looked at me "I wish I could draw like you."

I smiled at her; she stretched her tiny hands out and touched the painting thus completely ruining it. "I'm sorry." She apologized in her soft voice. I gently rubbed my nose against hers "It's okay, tomorrow I'll teach you how to paint." She released soft giggles as I tickled her.

She jumped off my lap "Daddy is here!" she yelled looking up.

Ian walked up to and crouched "Look at you, you have paint all over you."

Asuna hid her hands behind her back "Sorry." She apologized.

"Go clean up, it's almost dinner."

When Asuna was gone, Ian placed his hands on his hips; He had lines of irritation on his face.  
"You know you are spoiling her. Yesterday she brought a bucket of sand into the house and she kept on giggling while I tried to make the rules clear to her."

"Ill talk to her about it." I said looking him in the eye.

"Since my contract expired, I'm finding it difficult to find a decent project with good money. Don't worry though; everything will be back to normal in no time. In the meantime, I put the guestroom up for rent on the internet.

The news came as a shock to me. It was my first time hearing of it, I didn't even know about his contract expiring up to now. He never consulted me on anything. He made all the decisions. He did not bother to ask me if I was alright with it.

He stretched his arms out now looking at the pool. "He only plans to stay for two weeks. He's quiet a big shot."

"You mean like a celebrity?"

He looked at me "Not quiet, an heir. He's name is Mr. Syaoran Li."

…………………………………..

GASP!! Review for more ^0^, I don't plan for this to be long. It was more experimental really but I'm glad everyone like it. I just hope this chapter kept you interested. HAVE AN AWESOME CHRISTMAS!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**My Paper heart 3  
His and her displeasure  
**

Disclaimer: I do not own ccs

His words stroke a nerve. Her face went pale and she stuttered "Syao…syaoran…Li?"

Ian nodded "Have you heard of him?"

Sakura wanted to hide the sudden feeling of distress and fear. She smiled though her lips were trembling "No, I've never heard of him. Is all this really necessary, I mean I can always get a job."

"No. I don't want you to. All you need to do is stay home and I'll take care of everything."

Sakura sighed inwardly; this man clearly wanted her to be a housewife and nothing else. There was so much she disliked about him. It was the little things that made her want to pull her hair out.

"It's a great opportunity for me. If everything goes well I will be working for Li corp. Li corp is currently one of the biggest companies in East Asia. How lucky are we."

"Yeah, lucky." Sakura's words were dripping with sarcasm.

"He'll be arriving in Japan sometime after mid-night. I need you to prepare the guest room."

"Yes, I'll get right to it after dinner." Sakura said obediently.

She managed to keep a straight face for Ian but when he left to buy groceries, she was in the kitchen washing dishes when a tear suddenly fell from her eye. She stood still staring down at the dishes. It didn't feel real but….she sniffled. How was she supposed to feel? He was the last person on the planet she wanted to see. His name alone brought back painful memories.

"Mama, look…" Asuna said now standing next to her mother.

Sakura did not want Asuna to see her cry but she could not hold back. Asuna was holding a picture which she immediately dropped when she say her mothers tears.

"You're crying again." Asuna's eyes were already filled with tears.

Sakura was ashamed, Asuna was so young but was already aware of her crying habits. She crouched down to Asuna's level. "I'm not crying pumpkin, I just got soap in my eyes."

Asuna started to cry wrapping her hands around her mothers neck.

"Why are you crying?"

Asuna's rubbed her tears against Sakura's neck "I'm crying because you're crying."

She held Asuna, she thought of what Syaoran would say if he knew. If he knew that this little drop of heaven was is daughter. She looked like him, he was sure to recognize her as his daughter just by looking at her.

Sakura held Asuna closer _"He's going to hate me…more than he already does_." She thought.

………………………….

It was a stormy night, the roads were flooding with water and Ian could barely see past the heavy rain. He took a quick look at the man in the passenger sit. He waited two hours at the airport for this man who barely said anything to him. He had messy chestnut hair and wore a white shirt ,a black skinny tie hanging loosely around his neck with black trousers. He appeared restless and awfully young. He reminded Ian of someone…but he just couldn't remember who.

Ian cleared his throat "So, are you married? Any children?" he asked for the sake of conversation.

"No." Syaoran answered in a bitter tone.

"Have you been to Japan before?"

Syaoran looked outside watching the raindrops on the windowpane "I grew up here."

"Is that so, I must say I'm surprised." Ian's eyebrows rose wrinkling his forehead.

"My mother thought it would be best for me to have a normal childhood."

"Why did you leave?"

Syaoran was quiet. He looked at Ian then at the road "It's about a girl. Being here reminds me of her. She was the most beautiful girl. We were very close. It ended before it began."

Ian could not apprehend the look on Syaoran's face. He appeared to be a sad man with a tragic past. He was tired and worn out. In his eyes was an assortment of fear and hopelessness.

"So why are you back?"

"Well…" he paused drawing his face further away "I'm here on business. My latest client is an old friend from Japan. He is in financial debt. He needs me to be his legal representative in court."

"For free?" Ian asked stunned.

Syaoran nodded "Uh, yeah." There was a short thread of silence before he started in a serious tone "When my friend called me I was thrilled, in a way I needed an excuse to come back here. I want to see her but…I don't know where she is, if she's married, or if she will ever forgive me. I'm guessing she left this town a long time ago. She was destined for great things."

Ian made a left turn "I'm not bragging or anything but I've got the most perfect wife in the world. She's beautiful and unlike most women she doesn't complain."

Syaoran's eyebrows rose "Oh really?" He asked bluntly.

"Absolutely, you should see her. Sometimes I wonder how a guy like me got so lucky."

Syaoran was quiet. Inside he thought, "He must be kidding me. No woman is more beautiful than Sakura."

"If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?" Ian asked taking a quick look at Syaoran once more.

"26."

Ian was amazed. He sensed that Syaoran was immature. He acted like a depressed teenage boy. He carried a haggard look in his disposition.

"And you?" Syaoran expected that Ian was somewhere in his late thirties. He was nothing like him. He seemed serious. He buttoned the buttons of his shirt all the way up to his neck. He looked like he was suffocating.

When Ian said "31." Syaoran's eyebrows shot up.

They reached Ian's house approximately 1 in the morning. Syaoran was impressed. Though it was dark, he could not deny the beauty of Ian's home. It was still raining heavily. They managed to get his entire luggage inside the house that appeared to be empty.

"Make yourself at home. I'll go inform my wife of your arrival." Ian sauntered upstairs.

Syaoran nodded, his face refusing to smile.

Ian opened the door to their bedroom. She appeared to be sleeping. She lay on top of bed cuddling unto the sheets. She was facing the window and her body was in fetal position.

"Our guest is here. I want to introduce you to him and maybe you can prepare him tea."

Sakura got up "I'll be right down." She muttered in a mellow tone.

She waited for Ian to leave. She took a deep breath and reluctantly made her way outside the room. She walked slowly downstairs her heart beating like a drum. She could hear his voice…it was really him. She could never forget his voice. She wanted to run back upstairs but lost control of her legs.

When she walked into the room, she had her head down. Without looking at him, she bowed at before him. "Hello."

He did not see her face properly. The length of her auburn hair went past her shoulders but he knew. It was her. The girl he left behind. It was strange having her give so much respect to him. She raised her head. Time seemed to stand still. Was any of this real?

Words were stuck inside of him and he swallowed hard.

"This is my wife Sakura." Ian introduced her.

"It's nice to meet you." She said her eyes looking past him.

He was confused; she was acting as if she did not know him. He gazed at her. She was lovelier than he remembered her. She wore a dress that went over her knees—her fashion sense had obviously changed. She had a ring on her middle finger. He bowed.

"My pleasure Mrs. Tamaki." His tone held volumes of meaning.

"Would you like some tea? You haven't lived until you've had Japanese tea." She told him.

Ian put an arm around Sakura's shoulder "Actually Sakura, Mr. Li here is familiar with Japan. He grew up here."

Sakura beamed "Is that so?"

Syaoran nodded in disbelief. What an actress she was, he always knew when Sakura was pretending. Her smile was so fake it made him slightly disgusted. He could not keep his eyes off of her. "_Stop pretending, you hate tea. You know I hate tea."_ He had already drawn a number of conclusions, she still hated him and she was more comfortable with pretence. She left him no other choice but to play along.

"Yes, I lived here for 16 years."

She nodded "Alright, I better get to the kitchen."

………………….

It was over, their first meeting. Her hands were shaking. She took out a tray. He looked the same he did when he left her except he was slightly taller and built but apart from that, not much changed about him. She felt old looking at him. She was a 24-year-old mother and housewife and he was still a teenage boy. She had thought about so much and had so many feelings of resent against him. Now that he was in her presence. She did not know which emotion to feel.

She ambled back to the living room wearing that flawless smile. "Sorry for the delay."

She neatly placed the tray on the table in front of him. Her hands were shaking, she was afraid to spill the tea on him—but then again it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

For the first time their eyes met. He awarded her with a chill that literally gave her Goosebumps. How he had missed those eyes. As fierce as they were in that split second, he did not mind.

He took a sip of the tea and nearly choked "Uh…thank you. It's—delicious."

Ian proceeded in a conversation. Ian asked Syaoran about his job and his ambitions. Syaoran also learnt a few new things as well. Ian was an architect, he was very protective of Sakura and Sakura was a housewife. After a few minutes, Ian shook Syaoran's hand. "Good night. My wife will show you to your room."

Her face was smiling but insides turned into ash.

Ian was gone. Stupid man, Sakura thought referring to Ian, how dare he leaves her alone with Syaoran. There was a hungry silence in the room that was gradually eating them up. He got up from his chair and ambled to her. She stood up her eyes on the floor.

"I'm sorry." He said softly. He still could not believe he was looking at her.

She slowly withdrew her head now looking at his face.

"I'll show you to your room?" she grimaced.

She started walking outside the living room. He was right behind her "Is that all you can say? Fine I get it, you hate me. You have all the right to."

She did not say a word until they reached the guestroom. The guestroom was on the first floor. It was not far from the kitchen but felt miles away from upstairs where she slept.

She opened the door "The bathroom is there and you are welcomed in the kitchen anytime."

She half turned but before she could walk away, he grabbed her hand "I didn't know he was your husband. I swear. I didn't even think you were married. I'm not here to ruin your life. It's strictly business."

She looked at him "What do you want from me?"

He released her. He did not have an answer to that question. He gazed into her eyes; his feet were frozen. He did not know what to say.

It was a heartrending scene. She could smell the desperation. How the hell did a lighthearted guy like Syaoran become so damn…sad?

She could not find it in her heart to forgive him. She muttered angrily "You have no idea what I've been through."

Before he knew it, she was gone.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

It was 6 in the morning when Syaoran got out of bed. He put on a pair of jeans with a t-shirt and made his way to the kitchen. He did not get an ounce of sleep. The fridge was opened but there appeared to be one. He walked around the counter when he saw a little girl stretching her arm to grab a piece of chocolate cake. He stopped in his tracks and watched her. She slowly turned around her finger tips covered in chocolate. She wore a baby blue nightdress and bunny slippers.

"Hi" she said looking at him unfazed.

After looking at her face, he knew that she was Sakura's daughter. She had Sakura's emerald eyes. She had a fringe, long chestnut hair. He gazed at her feeling a little hurt and content.

"Hi, how are you?" his voice was shaky. He was starting to feel like an intruder in their home.

She licked her fingertips "I'm fine. Who are you?"

He smiled "Syaoran, I live here with your family for now."

She nodded "Really?"

"Yes." She reminded him of Sakura. She was not a cute little girl. She was beautiful. Her skin was like porcelain and there was a sparkle that never left her eyes. "And you are?"

She smiled "Asuna Tamaki. I'm almost 5 years old, I love chocolate, cartoons, gifts and everything that's pink, purple and blue. Pleased to meet you Syaoran." She said stretching her hand out for a handshake.

He chuckled; she was witty.

"What are you doing up?"

"Mama always wakes up late and my Daddy went to work. Can you please get me a cookie. The cookie jar is on top of the fridge. I can't reach that far."

Syaoran did as she asked. He was so astonished by her that he did not realize what he was doing.

They sat behind the table. Both had a glass of milk and the cookie jar was on the table between them.

"So you're almost five. When is your birthday?"

She took a sip of the milk, some of in flowed down to her chin "Saturday. I'm having a party."

"Is there anything you want for your birthday?"

She closed one of her eyes "Mommy says it's impossible. I want a star for my birthday."

He smiled once more. He felt a need to know her. She took a bite of her cookie, swallowed then asked, "How old are you?"

"Alot, 26."

"That's old. I think my granddad is the same age."

Syaoran chuckled.

She quickly finished her milk "Do you like cartoons?"

"Yeah, of course."

She jumped off the chair "I think spongebob is on."

They sat in front of the TV. Even though it was her favorite television programme, she could not stop asking him questions.

"Where are you from?"

"Hong Kong."

"My Dad never lets me watch TV or eat cookies. Please don't tell him."

"It's our little secret." He told her smoothly.

"Pinky swear?" she held out her pinky finger.

He smiled wrapping his pinky finger around hers "Pinky swear."

Suddenly her eyes widened "You're like me." She said giggling.

Syaoran's eyebrows shot up when she said that.

"You get holes in your cheeks when you smile, like me."

Syaoran paused "Is it possible that she's my daughter….then again, she can't me. I remember that night very well. I wore a condom…no way. It's mere coincidence…is it? I'm getting over my head."

She moved off the couch and waved her hand "It was nice to meet you. I have to wake Mama up. She always wakes up late."

He nodded "I know."

…………………

Sakura had been awake all night. She did not want to go downstairs. She feared bumping into him. The door slowly opened.

"Morning…" Sakura smiled.

"Good morning." Asuna climbed up the bed and rested her head on Sakura's chest. She put her hands around Sakura.

Sakura planted a kiss on her forehead "Asuna, you smell like cookies. Where did you get them from?"

She quickly wiped the crumbs off her mouth "Syaoran helped me."

Sakura bit her lower lip "You…you met Syaoran?" she stammered.

She nodded "He's very nice! I like him." she exclaimed.

So many things were rushing through her head. There was no way he could have missed it. It was obvious that she was his. He would be rather dense not to realize that at first glance. Sakura was now afraid, she held Asuna closer.

"Your heart is beating very fast." Asuna pointed out.

Sakura just smiled "Don't worry about that."

Next, Sakura had to undergo the everyday challenge of trying to get Asuna to wear her clothes. Asuna disliked pre-school. Every morning she would scream and cry. Some days she would run away and hide. Sakura locked her arms around Asuna as she cried trying her best to escape Sakura's grasp. The challenge now was to get her to put on her shoes while holding her. She cried louder. Sakura frowned, now they had a guest in the house, her behaviour was unacceptable.

"Asuna! If you keep crying we're not going to the pet store this afternoon."

She stopped screaming, tears streamed down her eyes "No! I don't want to!"

She somehow managed to escape Sakura's grasp. She ran all the way downstairs. Sakura followed her angrily yelling her name. She heard her cries coming from the guest room. She sighed slowly making her way there. She stood by the door where she witnessed Asuna in Syaoran's arms. She had her head on his shoulder and her hands were tightly clasped around his neck.

She was waiting for it; this was it, the point of suspense. She would have to explain to him but she would not need his forgiveness for what she did.

Syaoran looked confused. He placed an arm on her tiny back as her tears soaked his shirt.

"I can explain." Sakura said defensively.

He chuckled, he always found it amusing when Sakura was angry "You've got a beautiful daughter." He told her.

Sakura gulped, she was relieved. "Uh thanks, she's like this every morning. She never wants to go to school and when I go pick her up, she doesn't want to come home."

Syaoran kept a fixed smile on his face then he whispered to Asuna "I think you better go with your mama now."

She shook her head hard "I don't want to go. I want to stay here with her."

"School will be fun, I promise and besides, it will make your mama very happy."

Sakura watched them interact. To much of her amazement, Syaoran appeared to be good with children and Asuna showed that she liked him. She was not like this with Ian. Sakura gently pulled Asuna from Syaoran's arms "Thanks." She muttered.

……………………………………

**Syaoran's POV  
**

After the scene in the morning and seeing the look in Sakura's eyes, there still was hope for us—being friends again. I would have to settle for friendship. No matter what, things will never be the same again. My feeling for her will always extend far beyond friendship. In a matter of minutes, she would be back and the two of us will be alone. It was an excellent opportunity.

I walked outside to the yard, it was an impressive house. I made my way to the pool with my hands tucked in my pockets. I heard a car enter the garage, she was back. I turned around and watched her through she French doors.

Questions lingered on my mind as she carried on with her daily chores. I slowly walked into the kitchen where she was now washing the dishes. She half turned then turned away "Don't you have work?"

"Later." I said plainly.

She carried on washing the dishes, I knew how uncomfortable I was making her but I needed to talk to her.

"I've been gone for a long time, I know that. I hope someday you can forgive me." I paused moving closer "I don't deserve it….Please help me walk free of pain"

She did not move, she kept her back facing me.

"I never thought it would end like this; here you are married and a mother. I know I shouldn't but I've imagined this for us."

I moved even closer to her until I was only standing a few steps behind her. She smelled like strawberries. I took in her scent. I closed my eyes. My hands threatened to touch her. She stood still.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

Slowly my eyes opened, my heart was now in her hands, "Because…." I bit back the words "I never meant anything I said to you that day. I only did it to push you away. I didn't want to hurt you…"

"That's funny." She said.

I grabbed her shoulder and she flinched. I rested my chin on the hand that firmly held her shoulder. "I really missed you." I whispered in her ear.

"Syaoran…" she started when the door abruptly opened. Ian walked in and I quickly withdrew my hand stepping aside. He looked at the both of us warily.

"Honey…you're home." Sakura tried to break through a burst of emotions.

I unenthusiastically forced a smile "Sakura was just telling me…uh about Asuna's birthday party."

He ambled closer to us; he grabbed Sakura's wet hands and pulled her into a hug. He caressed her chin. Their faces touching; I kept my eyes fixed on Sakura. I needed to see how honest she was being to this man. She smiled at him looking slightly stunned by his public display of affection.

"What's this all about?"

"I got the job!" he exclaimed.

I turned away unable to trace any emotions that would indicate dishonesty.

All three of us sat in the patio for lunch. He had his hand around hers all the time. It was as if he was telling me that Sakura was restricted territory. Jealousy stole my ability to communicate. I bit hard on my lower lip. I tried not to look angry or frustrated but I couldn't help but think of what a lucky bastard Ian is. In my eyes, Sakura was a luxury far out of my reach. I wished I could touch her the way he did every night. I stood alone in this defeat.

After that, I visited Takashi to discuss the court case. Takashi had been careless; he was an accountant and had stolen money from the government for two years. We sat in his apartment behind a wooden table. I brought out a few documents.

"So where are you living." He said smiling from ear to ear. He did not appear to be affected by the possibility of going to prison.

I smiled at him "Sakura…and her family."

"Sakura??" Takashi asked his eyes filled with joy.

I nodded "She's married and she has a daughter. Did you know that?"

Takashi shook his head "No, no one really knows what happened to her. She sure segregates herself from the rest of us. I wonder why. I mean I was gone for two years since the last time we were all together. I heard she moved and her number changed."

"Yeah, I know."

"Doesn't it kill you though, knowing you two would have been together? Now you'll be seeing her everyday. Isn't it a constant reminder of what you lost? You need to get over her, she's married, you can't become a home wrecker. Dude it's not cool" Takashi never hesitated with the truth.

"I know…"

Takashi patted me on the shoulder "You need to start dating again. When was the last time you got laid? You allow her to occupy your thoughts."

I ignored the question. The answer was quiet sad really—actually, it was embarrassing.

"But then again, is she happy with this guy? You know her more than anyone else does. You should be able to tell if she is really happy or just pretending."

"I know…"

"Maybe you should try to seduce her. If she gives in, she's on your side."

"Hmmmm…."

I got back late in the evening. The whole family was having dinner. I smiled at Asuna who waved at me smiling back.

"Sorry we started without you, we just thought that…" Ian began.

"It's alright, I already ate."

I dismissed him with my eyes and started my way to my room. I locked the door and lay on my back on the bed staring at the ceiling. I turned aside to look at a painting, it looked like one hers. It was a woman…her mother. I stared at it. I could not ignore the sound of their voices. Sakura's sweet voice, Ian's strong voice and Asuna's loud voice. I could hear her cry, I could hear them argue. A tear ran across my face.

_Authors note_

I know how short this is but I was really busy this week. R and R please Thanks for all the reviews, they really keep me going ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

My paper heart

How it feels to be….

Disclaimer: I do not own ccs

Normal POV

The wind blew in through the open window. There was not a star in the sky but a bright yellow moon. Sakura flipped a page from her novel. Two more chapters and she would be finished. She smiled at the bittersweet story of love lost and found. She was still a romantic at heart but kept a firm conclusion that it was just not for her. She did not doubt its existence. Ian walked in from the bathroom. He wore checkered pajamas. He ambled to the mirror, and took out a bottle of eye drops from the drawer. Sakura had studied he's daily routine. He was predictable in everyway.

He used the eye drops, cleared his throat and said in a serious tone "What do you think about Li Syaoran?"

Sakura stopped reading her book; she looked at him from the corner of her eye "Uh, he's…different from what I expected." She told him, it was what people always said about him when they were still friends.

"I don't like the way he looks at you." Ian's eyes did not meet hers, not even for a split second.

Sakura nervously chuckled "And how exactly does he look at me?"

Ian paused for a second "I don't know, remember that time when we were watching the discovery channel. Did you see the way those lions were looking at their prey from afar. That's the way he looks at you."

Sakura released a genuine giggle, Ian sure had a strange way of putting things "No he doesn't."

"You're a woman, you don't see these things. You are very attractive; any man would be foolish not to fall for you."

"You have nothing to worry about. I have no interest whatsoever in Mr. Li. Don't you trust me."

He finally looked at her "I really don't know, you were pregnant when I first met you."

Sakura frowned "What you implying?" she felt hurt by his remark.

He joined her in bed; she kept a fierce glance fixed on him. The air was thick, she tried to look alright.

"Forget about it." He said turning off the lamp next to his side of the bed.

Sakura clenched her teeth "Other than you, I've only been with one other guy."

He pulled the sheets over his head "Were you really with him? Was it official?"

"No…" she said in her defeat "…But he was someone I knew very well."

Ian muttered, "The point is that you slept with him and he wasn't even your boyfriend. You're a pastors daughter. One would think you're father didn't teach you any moral values. But don't worry, I forgive you."

What a coward, he couldn't even look into her face as he told her these things. Sakura held back the urge to shed tears. She got out of bed and grabbed her pillow.

"Where are you going?" Ian asked his face still hidden underneath the sheets.

"I'm going downstairs to sleep on the couch. I don't think I can stand another second in this room with you."

He yawned and said "Alright, don't forget to turn off the lights.

Sakura looked at him for awhile. He was an unsympathetic control freak who did not truly love her. He just needed something to show off to his friends with and she was the victim. She marched downstairs her feet hitting the floor very hard. She dropped the pillow on the chair and lay down. As usual, she found herself crying alone.

In his room, he lay on the bed, the TV was still on but was on mute. He heard familiar cries coming from outside his room. He turned off the TV and stood up. It was Sakura. He slightly opened the door. He slowly followed the cry. He saw a figure lying on the couch.

She knew he was watching her but she could not stop.

He stood there for awhile, debating with himself on what he was to do next. He took a step back _"I want to but….shouldn't_." he walked back to his bedroom. Now his overwhelmed with darkness and silence.

Early the next morning, she went back to the bedroom. Ian was already up and ready for work. He saw her walk in and smiled "I'm so excited, there is nothing I love more that the first day at work."

She ignored him walking into the bathroom. He followed her and stood by the door.

"Alright. Lets forget about yesterday."

Sakura opened the tap then looked at him "So you're not even going to say you're sorry?"

He laughed placing his hands on his waist "What difference does it make."

Sakura closed the tap "You are a strange person Ian, the only time you ever look into my eyes is when you are lying. You never look into my eyes when you are telling the truth."

He folded his arms over his chest. He had a smug on his face like nothing she was telling him was really sinking in.

"I'm working on Saturday." He suddenly jumped into a new topic.

Sakura sighed "That's Asuna's birthday."

"You'll just have to cancel the party. Just bake her a cake, she's only three. She won't even remember this as she gets older."

"She's four, She was looking forward to it. She really wants you there."

Ian looked down "She's your kid. I don't think it matters whether I'm there or not."

It was one hurtful thing after another. It was like watching a marathon. The only thing Sakura was thinking about was how to get her revenge. She wanted to hurt him the way he was hurting her over and over again. He was so proud of the fact that he had never hit her but to Sakura, physical abuse would have been better than verbal abuse. Scars can always heal but words are rarely forgotten.

After he left, she had to get Asuna ready for school. Asuna was obedient, unlike every other morning. She was singing joyfully. She was excited about her birthday. "Mama, can we get a piñata?" she asked.

Sakura smiled "We'll have to ask your father."

Sakura could not find it in her heart to break the news to Asuna.

……………………………………..

After dropping Asuna off, she opened the front door and slowly ambled into an emptier house. She dropped the keys on the counter and walked through the kitchen, through the dinning area to the patio. She stared ahead at the pool and the beautiful garden Ian had provided for them. Even though it appeared to be paradise, it always felt like hell. She took a few steps and sat on a step.

"Are you alright?"

Sakura shook her head. She kept her gaze fixed on the pool. _"Now Syaoran is feeling sorry for me, I've really hit rock bottom." _She thought.

He sat next to her leaving a safe distance between them. He rested his hangs on his thighs. "I hate to see you like this. You know I always have."

"I don't need your sympathy." She told him softly "All couples fight, it's part of marriage." She assured him.

"I didn't say anything."

She held her legs to her chest "He's very predictable yet inconsistent. Sometimes he's so nice to Asuna and I. He says he will protect us and he promised to treat us with kindness."

She looked at the ground "But other times he's very mean. He acts as if he doesn't care. He makes me feel small and helpless." It was hard to tell Syaoran all of this but right now, he was the closest thing she had to a friend. She did not go out or socialize with other women. She always stayed home alone…"He provides for us."

"Like you can't do that yourself."

She looked at him, he had his eyes up at the sky "I've missed out on a lot and you've changed but yet you are the same. What I'm sure of is that you are talented. I've always loved your art. Do you know how much artist with your talent make? You can even open your own gallery."

"Ian wouldn't like it if I worked."

"Why?"

"He feels a sense of belonging when he is in control."

"He needs to grow up." Syaoran smirked.

"So do you." She said suddenly attacking him "You should get rid of those Spiderman boxers. It's been four years and you're still wearing the same underwear."

He laughed "How did you know I was these, were you peeking?"

Sakura rolled her eyes; she told him plainly, "Your pants are way below your waist. It's kind of in my face."

He chuckled. He loved her honesty. "

"Do you love him." Syaoran asked taking a risk.

She shook her head "No, like you wants said Syaoran. I should not attach feelings to everything."

"I didn't mean that—I swear." He said desperate for her approval. "Sakura you are…"

"Please don't ruin this. I don't want to talk about that. I don't want to ever have that feeling again."

She stood up "I have to think of what I'm going for Asuna's birthday."

"Isn't she having a party."

Sakura shook her head "It's been cancelled. She'll be disappointed but I can think of something."

He nodded too afraid to say anything that would be out of context.

"I guess I should be worried for sharing all this information with you but right now…I don't know."

She walked back into the house through the French doors. He felt a sense of relieve having her talking to him again. Now he knew he had to make things right. Ian was not the man for Sakura and the fact that she did not hesitate to tell him that she did not love Ian said a lot about her and her relationship. She led herself to believe that she no longer needed to love nor did she deserve to be loved. She thought security was more important.

She was not like the **old** Sakura, who valued love and romance. The Sakura who waited patiently for the man she loved to her back.

As far as he was concerned, Sakura was the type of woman who needed a man who could love her in every way. The type of man who would appreciate her flaws and embrace her no matter what. A man who would hug and kiss her in public, make passionate love to her.

He was not perfect but he loved her with his whole heart. He appreciated her, just as she was. He lusted for her and felt her pain in the worst of times. He was done watching. In less than a weeks he would have to return to Hong Kong.

It was a wonderful feeling. For the first time in his life he knew what he wanted and he was not going to give up.

………………………..

Sakura's POV

Ian is working late again today. After folding the laundry, I walked outside to the pool. Syaoran was teaching Asuna how to swim. "Asuna, I think it's time you get out the pool. It's almost time for dinner."

Asuna smiled, she was holding unto the edge of the pool "Wait, let me show you what Syaoran taught me. She swam a short distance from one side of the pool and into Syaoran's arms.

"She's a fast leaner, like her mother." Syaoran looked at me for a second.

"Please Asuna, be careful." I told her. I could not stop the fear that was building up inside of me.

Asuna got out of the pool. I wrapped her in a towel "Thanks Syaoran, I think you better get ready for dinner too." Asuna held unto my hand. She looked up at me "Mama, did you know?"

We walked into the house.

"What?"

"Syaoran knows magic. I don't want a party anymore."

"Why?" I asked smiling inside.

"He says there is a fair on Saturday. They have a fares wheel and a merry-go-round. Please Mama."

"Sure, we can do that."

"Can Syaoran come too? Oh please Mama." She held tightly unto my arm.

After dinner, while Asuna was coloring in her coloring book. I knocked on Syaoran's door. He opened immediately. I dared not to come in so I remained standing outside his door. He looked surprised to see me.

"Thanks for suggesting the fair to her. I would have carried on with the party but it would have made Ian angry."

He nodded "It was no problem."

"So." I ran my hand through my hair "Would you like to join us? If you're busy it's cool but Asuna really wants you there."

"I'll be there. She's a great kid" he paused then added, "You're protective of her."

I nodded agreeably "She's all I really have and to think, I lost my mother when I was her age. I can't imagine…I don't want her to hurt the way I did at such a young age."

He nodded "Don't worry."

We were quiet then we bid our goodnights.

On Saturday, we went to the fair. I did not inform Ian of our plans nor did I dare to inform him that Syaoran was coming with us. Asuna was filled with joy, I don't think I've ever seen her so happy. After the fair we drove back home. I had baked Asuna a birthday cake the previous morning. We lit the candles in the dark. Before she blew the candles, she looked at the both of us.

"Make a wish." Syaoran insisted.

She blew the candles.

"What did you wish for?" I asked her.

"If I tell you…it won't come true mama."

She leaned closer to Syaoran's ear and whispered, "I wished that you could stay with us forever because you make us very happy. Don't tell mama."

I heard every word she said. I felt like I was obliged to tell Syaoran the truth but I didn't know how I was going to go about it.

The doorbell rang; Asuna jumped off her chair "That's my papa! He forgot the keys again!" she ran to the door.

Ian walked into the kitchen with Asuna walking alongside him. He looked at me then at Syaoran "Looks like I missed alot."

"Papa," Asuna tugged unto his trousers "We went to the fair with Syaoran and we…." The minute Asuna mentioned said 'Syaoran' Ian looked at me. Asuna continued explaining to him but he was not listening. After awhile, he carried Asuna into his arms.

"Guess what, I got you a birthday present. I'll give it to you tomorrow, it's really big."

Asuna hugged him "Thanks papa."

Later, in the bedroom I told him "She wanted him there."

"I'm not mad." He said looking into my face. "It's a good thing he's leaving soon though. Just five more days and he'll be out of our lives for good."

I stared at Ian. He took off his tie and muttered, "This was a bad idea anyway." He took off his shirt then looked at me "We should have sex tonight."

I tucked my hair behind my ear. His request was no surprise to me. He wanted us to have our own children. He had asked about it a few times. Asuna was not enough for him. He wanted a child that shared his blood. The truth is—I did not want any kids—with him. He would love them more than Asuna. Every time we did** it**, I made sure I was on the pill. I lied to him that I was off the pill. I was not proud of myself but felt that he did not consider my views on the matter.

I sighed "I'm on my period." I lied.

He nodded hard "Alright, we'll just have to **arrange** another time."

I inwardly sighed in relief.

Normal POV

_Sunday (Valentines day)_

Asuna giggled hysterically as Syaoran went on. He had already told her three stories and she was still awake.

"Are you sleepy yet?"

She shook her head "Another one!"

He patted her on the head "Hmmm, I'll tell you a story about a little boy called…Syaoran. A young warrior sent by his father to save a princess from…a mouse…."

Before he knew it, she was fast asleep. He ran a hand over the bangs that covered her forehead.

He watched her for almost 30 minutes before he slowly stood up and gently crept up to the open door. He closed the door and started his way downstairs when he noticed a small space between the Sakura's door and the doorframe. There was a beam of light coming from the inside.

He grinned progressing to the door. He slightly pushed and peeped in "You awake?" he asked. She was laying in bed but the lamp light was on. Her eyes were half closed; she appeared to be in a trance.

She nodded "Thanks you tucking her in. She can be a handful."

"No problem." He walked in leaving the door as he found it.

He sat on a tiny space next to her "I can't believe I'm leaving. I it here."

"Why don't you just move here and start your own family?" she asked lazily.

"Na, there just some things people only get one opportunity with and once they've missed that opportunity, it's hard to settle for second best."

She rolled her eyes.

There was stillness.

His eyes were hypnotizing.

She could not stop looking into them.

He leaned closer to her; his nose gently brushed against hers. Sakura kept her eyes fixed on him. She felt numb; she could not speak nor move. He softly kissed her lips for a second. He already loved how she tasted. Her lips felt like shelter. He dove into her lips for another round. Taking his time…waiting for her to respond. She closed her eyes and gently kissed him back. They were at it for nearly ten minutes and within those ten minutes, he shifted on top of her barely leaving her lips. He held her face in his arms. She had her arms around his neck. Sometimes, she would run her fingers through his hair. He stopped to caress her cheeks. Smiling at her, he said, "Please, I don't think I can resist you anymore. I need you Sakura **Kinomoto**."

She did not want to say anything; she wanted him to satisfy her desire. He kissed her chin then her lips once more. He sat up and pulled the sheets away revealing her half-naked body. She wore a white vest and tiny white lacey panties. Syaoran was already turned on. She remained silent. She helped him take off his t-shirt and his pants leaving him in nothing but his white boxers.

Now he was on top of her again. He lay between her legs. He was kissing her pressing his lips tightly against hers. His sex pressed tightly against hers. He wanted this and there was no doubt in his mind she wanted it too. He loved the feeling of his body against hers. Her breasts were against his chest, they were territory yet to be explored.

He glided his hands down to her slender waist. Slowly, without her realizing it, he slid his hand underneath her vest cupping her naked breast. Her erect nipple was between his fingers. "Wait, we can't do this." She said in between kisses.

He left her mouth to kiss her neck, gently biting it "Why not darling?"

She moaned in deep pleasure "I'm married."

He kissed her neck and chuckled "So? What's your point."

"No Syaoran." She suppressed a moan "I can't have sex with you. I don't want to!"

He ran his hand through her hair "Are you sure about that?" he was unable to ignore the warmth between her legs. Her legs were practically pulling him closer to her.

She ran her fingers down his back "yeah." She let him kiss her a little more then suddenly she her features softened. An overwhelming sadness came over her; she remembered the events that happened after the last time they were in bed together. "Will you please stop that!" she said in a clam yet unfriendly tone. She loved his attention and hated herself for it.

He stopped kissing her and withdrew his head. He had a smirk on his face that was cute and evil at the same time.

"I thought this is what you wanted?" he asked his hand now stroking her hair.

"It is…" she paused "I mean it's not…"

He smiled; he knew exactly what she really meant to say. "I thought as much. You practically invited me in. The door was opened. You are wearing sexy underwear and a tight vest. You haven't enjoyed it in awhile, it's expected. A woman like you shouldn't feel guilty about her desire to enjoy sex."

Sakura sighed, "My door is always open, when Asuna gets scared at night, she usually comes into my room. I would hardly call this sexy. You sound like a horny teenage boy and what makes you think I don't enjoy doing it with my husband?"

He croaked his, his eyes seemed to be mocking her "I can see it…he's afraid to touch you and you are so uncomfortable when he touches you. It is Valentines Day he should be here with you. It's also a Sunday for crying out loud and he has been working all day. Who works on a Sunday?" He murmured, "Does he arouse you? Does he make you scream? Does he make you beg for more?"

Sakura turned her face aside; he drew his hand up to her chin and croaked her head back his direction.

"Remember when we first made love?"

Sakura was bright red.

"Remember that blood rushing intensity?"

Sakura took a deep breath. His hand was still cupped around her breast. Syaoran was right, Ian was no lover. He was not a passionate about her.

"Give me another reason why we shouldn't do this."

Sakura looked him straight in the eye "You took my virginity and you knew very well that I was saving it for someone I love. You knew how much it meant to me to loose my virginity to the man I loved yet you had the nerve to refer to it as being just sex. I thought you possibly loved me too. You were so perfect in bed; you made it the way I had imagined it would be. I guess you were only like that because you were experienced."

He heaved a sigh "I told you, I didn't mean it. I wasn't being honest with you."

She sat up forcing him off her "Why did you lie to me then? You know how sensitive I am. I loved you so much and you treated me like shit!" she refrained from yelling because Asuna was sleeping.

"Sakura…."

"Syaoran if you didn't mean it then you sure did a great job convincing me you did. You deserve an Oscar. I cried for months, I still cry today."

"I'm sorry! How many times do you want me to say it? I'm hurting too. I've been hurting too. It's not like I was busy with the rest of my life. After you, my life just stopped. I needed you to help me walk free of pain. I know what I did was inexcusable but I would do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness. I swear, I deserve it. "

"Then why did you do it?"

He shifted to the edge of the bed next to her bedside table.

"Remember that girl I was dating, Hitomi, she told me she was pregnant. Her family practically cornered me. They wanted me to marry her. It turned out to be a sham to steal money from my Father's company. After a month I called your father, he told me that you had moved on and if I came back I would only be causing you pain. He said it would be best if I left you alone and let you be happy."

"You're lying, my father would never do that!" tears were in her eyes "Syaoran we were friends all our lives and you couldn't tell me that? We did everything together. What made this time different?"

"You were no longer my best friend. You became someone I truly loved. I knew I didn't deserve you. No matter what choice I made, I thought I would only hurt you. I've always hurt people. I thought I was not good enough for you."

She was quiet then she muttered, "I still don't understand." Her tone was mild, she did not once raise her voice and neither did he. Tears ran down her face, her lip trembled.

"I was scared back then but now I'm certain, I love you." His eyes were now glowing as he stared at her in desperation.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Because, I'm forgiving you."

She blinked a tear away "For what?"

"For not telling me about Asuna. I wasn't sure at first but now I know she's my daughter."

Sakura stared back at him with awe; she didn't know what to believe. He gave her two options, to believe in him, to believe her father betrayed her and that Ian was never going to make her truly happy or to despise him. She did not bother to ask him how he knew that Asuna is his daughter.

He brushed away a tear from her eyes with his thumb. "What do you want Sakura?"

They heard footstep, they wanted to hide but knew it was too late. Syaoran was in his underwear and was hardly decent…suddenly the door was wide open and

_To be continued (MWahhhhha)_

_A/N: Reviews please. ^___^ thanks for all previous reviews. _


	5. Chapter 5

**My Paper heart**

**Chapter 5**

Yet to be determined

Disclaimer: I do not own ccs

Normal POV

Syaoran grabbed his trousers and tried his best quickly to put them on while Sakura pulled the sheets over herself.

She gazed at the both of them distinctly. She appeared confused and puzzled. She rubbed her eyes and held tightly onto her stuffed rabbit. Sakura and Syaoran sighed at the same time in relieve.

Syaoran was sitting at the edge of the bed in nothing but trousers while Sakura sat up leaning her head against the wall.

"uh…I can't sleep, I had a bad dream." She said. It seemed that the sight of Syaoran in her mother's room did not bother her much.

Syaoran looked at her, now that it had been confirmed that she is his daughter, he found her even more remarkable. He smiled at her "Come, I'll read you another story."

Asuna disliked being hustled to bed, she wanted to chat and play all night. "But I want to…."

Syaoran expressed his disapproval to her idea by raising an eyebrow.

She held her rabbit to her chest then shifted her gaze to her mother. Sakura tried to look a little more presentable by stroking her hair back.

"Where is papa?"

"He's working late, he'll be back soon." She said casually. "Don't worry, go back to bed, you'll see him tomorrow morning."

As they spoke, Syaoran quickly put his shirt back on.

Asuna held Syaoran's hand and the two started their way to her room. She climbed back into bed and looked at him, still confused.

"Why were you in Mama's room?" she asked.

He sat next to her "You know how you go to your moms room when you get scared, well I get scared too and I need someone to tell me everything is going to be fine."

She giggled "But you're a grown up."

He pulled the sheets up to her shoulders "Grownups also get scared."

She nodded. "Oh really."

He assured her by returning a nod "Alright, let see now…" Before he could start she interrupted.

"I'm sorry but please don't tell me story. You tell horrible stories."

Both of them laughed heartily, he appreciated her sincerity and virtue.

"Just stay with me." She cuddled unto her pillow then closed her hand over Syaoran's.

After a while, she fell asleep and he left her room. He walked back into Sakura's room. She was reading a book and just as before the lamp on her bedside table was on. She looked up "I think you should get back to your room?"

"Yeah…" he told her smoothly.

She feared further conversation and besides, Ian was going to be home any minute. She could not afford having him catch her with Syaoran.

He had nothing more to tell her. He spoke his heart out; the rest was up to her.

She slightly turned her face aside "I'm still trying to take in everything you said."

He was waiting for a hint of a spark but instead, she appeared to be undecided. He nodded "Good night."

"Good night."

……………………………………………………

When Sakura woke up on a plain Monday morning, two things struck her by surprise. She was still utterly bewildered, not knowing whether she should believe what Syaoran said or not. The second thing that struck her was that it was almost lunchtime. She had abandoned her daily duty and instead occupied herself with thoughts. Asuna was supposed to be at school by 9.00. There was a pile of laundry waiting for her in the laundry room. She placed a hand on her forehead and slowly got out of bed. She could not remember if Ian was by her side the night before. She could not recall hearing him come in nor leaving for the office.

Lazily she appealed to the bathroom. She looked back at her reflection and sighed. There was a visible love bite on her neck. "Damn you Syaoran." She looked at it distinctly and tried to cover it with her hair.

She grabbed a robe and made her way to her daughters room "Asuna! Asuna!" she yelled. Asuna was not like her, she always woke up early and she always appeared in Sakura's room every morning. This was odd and unexpected. The house was quiet. There was no sound coming from the TV downstairs nor was there a commotion in the kitchen.

"Asuna!" she opened the door to Asuna's room. Her bed was hardly tidy. Her toys were everywhere. Sakura nearly tripped on a few blocks. She ran her hand through her hair, flustered. She hurried downstairs and still no sign of Asuna.

"That's it; she must be in Syaoran's room."

She hastily marched to Syaoran's room. She opened the door. He was not there and neither was she. She checked the yard, the gym, the laundry room—every room in the house and still no sign of either of them. The car was still in the parking lot and the kitchen was tidy.

She wanted to cry, she wanted to pull her hair out. She did not have Syaoran's phone number so she was left with no other choice but to wait.

Two hours later a car pulled in the driveway. Still in her robe, Sakura rushed outside. There was a yellow cab and out of it came out Asuna in an unfamiliar, yellow summer dress. Sakura ran toward Asuna yelling her name. She held her tightly in her arms.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asked holding more tightly unto her.

Asuna pulled away "Mama, you're squeezing me too tight."

Sakura kissed Asuna's cheeks "I was afraid that something…where were you?"

"I was with Syaoran!" she said blissfully. She had a huge smile on her face exposing the two gaps between her teeth "He took me out for breakfast then we went to the mall."

Sakura finally let Asuna go. Syaoran was now standing behind Asuna. Sakura scowled at him while he smiled casually. He eyed her with his amber orbs then beamed.

"It's nearly three o'clock, did you just get out of bed?" he teased her.

She swung her hand and hit his shoulder "Do you know how worried I was? How could you take her out without asking me?"

Syaoran recoiled "Baby, you were sleeping. We didn't want to interrupt you and there was nothing for breakfast."

Sakura heaved a sigh. She looked past Syaoran. The cab was loaded with plastic bags. She shifted her gaze back to him "What's all this?"

"Just a few things I got for Asuna and groceries for the house." He patted her head as though she was a child.

"A few things…" Sakura paused when a puppy jumped out of the car. Her jaw literally dropped. The puppy ran into Asuna's hands "Look Mama, Syaoran got me a puppy. A Dalmatian" ^_^

"I can see that." -_-!

Syaoran leaned over for a near whisper "She said she loves the Dalmatian movies. I just thought it would be great if I spent time out with daughter. After all, we have to make up for five whole years." He said with a wide grin on his face. :D

"Uh…" Sakura was speechless. 0.o

"Listen, the driver will carry all this stuff inside. I have to be in court in one hour."

Sakura nodded still in shock.

The driver managed to settle everything in the kitchen and in the living room in less than fifteen minutes. Syaoran was now gone.

"Is all of this really necessary?" Sakura asked taking out a pair of fairy wings from a paper shopping bag. She went through a few more bags while Asuna played with her puppy. He bought Asuna an expensive phone and a game counsel, clothes and candy.

"Asuna, why did Syaoran get you all this stuff?"

Asuna looked up at her mother. She stoked her puppy. "He just said I can get whatever I want."

Sakura shook her head and muttered "Shit! What is Ian going to think when he comes home. What the hell was Syaoran thinking? What is Asuna going to do with a phone?"

"Asuna, you do realize that we are going to have to return some of this stuff."

Asuna looked at her mother almost ready to cry "Like what mama?"

"Like the computer games and the cell phone and the puppy. You know how your father feels about this kind of stuff and besides he's allergic to dogs."

"No!" she cried, "I don't want to." Her puppy barked at Sakura while Asuna cried.

"_I know he's your father but this is not the way I want you to be raised. He's spoiling you."_ Sakura thought.

"But Mama, papa is never home anyway!" she stood up and put her arms around Sakura's legs "Oh please Mama, please."

Sakura gently forced her hands off. She crouched to Asuna's level. "I need you to be a big girl and understand."

Asuna would not stop crying. Sakura tried to negotiate something with her but she was more stubborn than usual. They reached a point where Asuna started to scream. Sakura grabbed her shoulders and shook her "Asuna! Listen to me! You can't have all of this."

Sakura grabbed her hand tightly.

Asuna stopped crying. She was staggered by her mother's stern actions. Usually she got everything she wanted by simply crying and screaming. Sakura dragged her all the way up to her room.

"Now you listen. Just because you are crying doesn't mean I'll give you whatever it is you want. I'm getting rid of everything you don't need and the puppy! You might not understand right now but some day you will." With those words, Sakura closed the door. It killed her to have punish her like that and for a second she was tempted to hit her. Now that Syaoran had proved to be the 'soft' parent, she felt obliged to be strict with her.

She got rid on a quarter of the things Syaoran bought for Asuna and tried to fit everything else into Asuna's room.

In the evening, Asuna walked into the kitchen while Sakura was cooking. She hugged Sakura's legs and looked up "I'm sorry Mama." She said in a half whisper.

Sakura carried her "You know, I don't like yelling at you. I just don't want your papa to be mad. I promise, I'll get you a puppy but we have to ask your father first."

Asuna nodded hugging Sakura "Can it be the same puppy please."

Sakura exhaled nosily and mumbled, "I really need to talk to Syaoran."

………………………

After dinner, she tucked Asuna in bed. She made her way to the bathroom for a quick shower. She took off her clothes and stood in the bathroom in her bra and panties. She could not draw herself away from the mirror. The love bite on her neck was still very visible. She was thankful that Ian was once again working late but she still needed it to go away.

"Are you still trying to seduce me?" a voice spoke giving her a fright.

She held unto her chest and turned her head to look at the man standing by the exit. He leaned his head on the doorframe. His hands in akimbo and he wore the normal conceited smirk. He looked confident enough to believe that he could make love to her with his eyes.

"Do you mind?" Sakura roared irritated.

He sighed "This again. It's nothing I haven't seen." His smirk widened.

She grabbed a robe and quickly wore it. "Don't you know how to knock?"

"Your door was opened." He told her not answering her question.

He stared at her long fully "So Asuna said you took away her puppy."

Sakura looked at the mirror "It's so like you Syaoran, to take her out shopping for stuff she doesn't even need. What's a five year old going to do with a cell phone?"

He slid his hand into his pocket "The usual, take pictures, call her parents…"

Sakura rolled her eyes. She was expecting such an answer from him. "It took me three hours to calm her down. What's Ian going to say, not to mention he's allergic to dogs."

Syaoran heaved a sigh "He'll get over it. I just like seeing her smile and after all she is my daughter too."

"That doesn't mean you should spoil her. 5 in an influential age. I don't want her to become materialistic. Please, I'm glad you want to make her happy and I always imagined you being the type of father that would spoil his child but, buying her all those things is unnecessary." Her voice lowered and became gentle.

He nodded walking into the bathroom "To be honest with you. I don't know how to be her father. I only know how to her friend." He paused "Saki, you have to tell Ian. I hate this, I hate feeling constricted."

"I know…I'll make sure he knows before you leave."

He leered "I know it's not easy for you. I hope you're also thinking about us."

She looked at him "All the time." Her cheeks turned red.

"Do you mind leaving, I need to take a shower."

He now had that naughty grin on his face "Can I join you?"

Sakura walked up to him and started pushing him out the door "No! For the last time I'm not sleeping with you."

He chuckled as her hands attempted to force him out. Her hands settled on his chest. "I'm not asking for sex. I just want to take a shower with you." He sniggered. Syaoran had on his face a confident, expectant look as if he was asking for fees owed to him for his improper suggestion.

"Same thing." She managed to get him out of the bathroom.

He simply ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. He enjoyed this 'game' that they seemed to be playing. Though she wanted him, she was hesitating and seemed to deny her feelings for him. The funny thing about it was that she made it so obvious and unfortunately, for her, Syaoran was the type of man who loved a challenge.

"I know deep down you're hoping Ian will catch us." Sakura said reading him like a book.

"Catch us what? Having sex?" he sheepishly smiled. "I wouldn't hope for such." He responded to her sardonically.

"Liar, you always have that smile when you're lying." She tightened the belt of her robe. We have to be careful Syao. You shouldn't even be here right now. I can't even risk Asuna catching you in my bedroom. She might look alright on the outside, but kids do wonder about these things."

"It doesn't matter, we'll be a family and everything will be clear to her."

Sakura faked a chuckled "You really haven't change. You always see things easier than the actually are."

He said scratched his head "So about that shower, think about it. The both of us…naked…."

Sakura looked at him sardonically.

"Fine, I' m leaving." He said dragging each word.

Sakura felt bad, though she did not say anything that offended him, she felt compassion for him. She watched him approach the door. Before he touched the door handle she said to him in sheer honesty…

"I'd be lying to you if I told you I know want. I know I have to tell Ian and I will. Right now I'm…..really just sorry."

"Don't be."

….he looked like he wanted to say more…then suddenly he said "I'll be at work all day tomorrow."

……………………………….

_Next day (Before Supper)  
_

Sakura looked out the window. The rain hit the roof like bullets and Ian had promised to be home for dinner. She was contemplating if they should start eating or wait for him instead. Syaoran had arrived 20 minutes earlier. He was in the lounge with Asuna. Sakura sighed…it was now way past Asuna's bedtime.

She ambled to the lounge "I think we should just start eating. The food is getting cold."

Syaoran was sitting on the couch browsing through a few documents while Asuna sat on the floor with a music box Syaoran got her. She opened and closed it watching the tiny ballerina spinning.

"I like this song." She looked at Syaoran then at her mother.

Sakura hugged her body with her hands.

"Are you cold?" Syaoran was concerned.

"No, it's just that I cooked and he promised….I should just shut up."

Asuna stood up and started spinning around. She closed her eyes as the music played. Syaoran watched her, his face lit up drastically.

"Asuna cupcake, you're going to be dizzy and fall down." Sakura told her. She stopped then shook her head.

Suddenly they heard the sound of the front door and all of them paused at the same time. It was as though Ian was a expected stranger.

"That must be papa." Asuna said.

They all quickly rushed the dinning room while Sakura rushed to the door to help Ian take his coat off. She placed his coat on the coat hanger. He managed to keep dry.

"Sorry I'm late." He kissed her cheek "Have you already eaten?"

Sakura shook her head "No, We've been waiting for you."

There was delight in his eyes. Ian walked to the dinning room. He was not impressed by the sight of Syaoran sitting on **his** chair.

"Good evening."

Syaoran looked up "Evening."

From there dinner commenced. At first there was a harsh silence that made everyone nervous. Then there was friction each time either Syaoran or Ian spoke.

"Asuna eat your veggies." Sakura insisted looking at Asuna's plate.

Asuna folded her arms over her chest "I don't want to."

"Fine, no dessert."

Asuna scowled. She did not move.

"She's stubborn." Ian commented, "I wonder where she gets that from." He chuckled.

Syaoran laughed along just for the sake of fitting in the conversation.

"Mr. Li, are you yet finished with your court case?"

Syaoran shook his head "Tomorrow is the last day."

"After that I assume you'll be returning home."

Syaoran took a sip of water from his glass. "Right now, I'm not certain."

Ian shook his head; his piercing blue eyes were cutting into Syaoran.

"You sure are working hard. I have a few friends who are architects and I know other guys who work for my Father's company. None of them works as much as you do. What exactly are you working on?"

"It's top secret." Ian replied now looked annoyed at the speculation.

Sakura saw that there was tension between the two men. She masked a smile "Ian honey aren't you going to touch your steak?"

Ian looked at her for a second "It's over cooked, as usual. I've told you countless times that you have to monitor it. Just a waste of perfectly good meat."

Syaoran gnashed his teeth; the steak was well prepared. He thought. Syaoran wanted to get up and smash Ian's head against the wall. He miraculously managed to keep himself grounded.

"So Asuna's teacher called and said she's been skipping classes?" he asked taking a sip of his water straight after that.

"You know how she can be. It was only yesterday."

Ian cleared his throat "You do realize that I'm paying for her fees every month. If you are so keen in letting her stay home for no good reason, we should send her to a cheaper school." He lectured.

Syaoran scowled, it was mostly his fault that Asuna did not attend school. He had no right attacking Sakura the way he did.

"Don't use that tone with her. She is not a child." Syaoran muttered under clenched teeth. "You need to start treating your wife with a little more respect."

Asuna was quiet in the background while Sakura watched Syaoran nervously.

"She's my wife! My family has nothing to do with you."

Syaoran banged his hand on the table furiously "It has everything to do with me."

Sakura held her hand on her forehead. She could feel a migraine coming on. She shook her head then uncovered her face to watch the look on Ian's face. If she did not say anything, these two men were sure to kill each other.

"Just shut up, the both of you! Asuna go to your room, now!"

Asuna got off her chair and quickly walked out.

Both of them were now looking at her.

"Ian, I haven't completely been honest with you." She looked at him "I know I should have told you but at first I thought that if I would just ignore it, it would go away."

"What are you talking about?" Ian stuttered.

Tears came to Sakura's eyes. From where he was standing, Syaoran just wanted to hold her.

"I knew Syaoran long before you and I ever met…"

Ian just watched the movement of her lips.

"Syaoran is Asuna's real father."

Ian was motionless, he didn't know what to do or say. Slowly, his fingers began to shake. He placed his hands on the table and muttered "Of course." He had the same plain look he always wore, as though the news was not affecting him. Suddenly she saw something in his eyes, something she had never witnessed before…a deepening sadness.

"So what does this all mean for us?" He said calmly without casting his eyes on Syaoran.

Sakura was still indecisive. "Ian, I feel….I can't go on living like this with you. I am not happy."

Ian looked at her then turned his face to Syaoran "So you come into another man's home and take away everything he has ever valued. Is that how it is." He paused then looked at Sakura "Are you sleeping with him?"

"No." Sakura replied. In her mind she thought that even though she did not sleep with Syaoran, she still cheated on Ian.

"I need you to leave my home or I might just kill you."

Syaoran nodded. He understood why Ian was acting the way he did. He looked at Sakura then walked out of the room leaving the two alone. Sakura sat on the chair.

"Is that all you're going to say?"

"Why did you lie to me?" for the first time, Sakura felt sorry for him.

"You always avoided the topic of Asuna's real father and so have I. I just wanted to pretend he wasn't here. I didn't think things would turn out the way they did.

He sighed "Did he know all along?"

Sakura nodded "Yes…"

"Then what's he waiting for. He might as well take Asuna away."

Sakura paused as more tears streamed down her face "He's waiting for me to leave you."

Ian's eyebrows shot up immediately "I swear, I knew it….I'm going to kill that son of a bitch."

Before he could stand up Sakura said "I've been thinking about it Ian. A lot."

Ian bit his lower lip as fear stoke his every bone.

"Why? He hurt you years ago."

"He loves me…"

"…And you believe him?" Ian interrupted.

Sakura folded her fingers into a fist "Ian, you and I don't really go. We've always known that. I mean you always make me cry and you are never there….I need to be loved. I tried to love you as a wife should love husband. I can't."

"But…."

"Syaoran was my best friend. He's always been a part of me. You must understand. Right now I don't know what I should do."

Ian was quiet once more. Sakura stood up "I'll leave you to your thoughts."

Sakura left the room. She walked to the foyer and sat on the first step leading upstairs. She knew Syaoran would have to use that way to reach the front door. She hid her face in her lap and waited. She felt a gentle arm on her shoulder and slowly turned around to find herself staring upon Asuna's face.

Quickly she mopped away the tears and muttered, "You should be in your room."

"Why?" Asuna appeared bewildered and aggravated. She scratched her tiny nose and sat beside her mother. Sakura slid an arm around Asuna's waist. She wanted to keep her pacified.

"Is Daddy mad?" she asked suddenly.

Sakura shook her head "No honey."

"What's going to happen Mama…is Syaoran leaving?"

Sakura's eyebrows slightly rose; she was astonished by Asuna's recent display of knowledge of what was happening.

She looked down, her eyes turning a darker shed. "Asuna please, just go to your room."

"But…" tears filled her eyes "Mama, I don't want to. I want to be here with you. The rain scares me." The sound of thunder caused the pair shudder.

A few minutes passed when Syaoran walked into the foyer with a suitcase. Asuna stood up and looked at him.

"Are you leaving?" She asked while Sakura hid her face in her palm.

He smiled at Asuna "Yeah…" he didn't know how to explain this to her.

"Will you be visiting again?" tears streamed down her face.

"Sure…." His eyes shifted to the distressed Sakura. She was falling apart right before him. Asuna burst into tears. She was having trouble breathing properly.

"But…but…" she repeated.

"I'll come back for you Asuna, you are very important to me." He ambled closer to the staircase.

"And you Sakura? Will you be coming with me?" he crouched down to her level.

Sakura withdrew her head and looked at him. Her eyes were red and swollen. Tears stained her pink cheeks. "I don't know."

He held his arm out and caressed her damp cheek. On the outside, he appeared strong and together while inside he was no better than she was. He tried his best to understand but it did not numb the pain. He despised the sight of seeing her in the state that she was.

"I will marry you Sakura, no matter what it takes…." He promised her "It's written in the stars."

She recalled him once telling her the same thing when they were young children.

He planted a kiss on Asuna's forehead then started his way out the front door. There was a cab waiting for him outside. A furious swirl of water swept across the road.

"Please Mama, don't let him go!" Asuna begged.

She took Sakura's arm and shook it as hard as she possibly could "Get up!"

Giving up, Asuna ran to the door and opened it. She ran out and instantly, Sakura stood up and quickly walked to the door. While she was yelling Asuna's name begging her to come back, Asuna was running through the rain yelling Syaoran's name begging him to stay.

Syaoran paused before opening the door when he saw Asuna running his direction. He crouched down to her level and caught her in his arms.

She rested her head on his shoulder and cried aloud "I don't want you to go!"

The rain poured down steadily. Syaoran closed his eyes. He wished she knew that he was her father. He knew that he could always get custody over Asuna but that was not what he wanted. He wanted it all, the both of them in his arms.

Sakura watched them for a while, she stopped crying. All she wanted was to be in his arms. He was the only man for her…from the beginning. Her glass heart shattered and she openly allowed him back in.

She took one-step ahead but before she could take another step, she felt something holding her back. Actually, it was more like someone. Ian had his hand firmly placed her shoulder. She looked into his face. The lines of frustration he wore on his face were replaced by tenderness. His eyes were soft and for the first time he seemed fragile and desperate.

"Please, don't go." He begged "I promise, I'll be a better man. I love you."

To be continued.

………………………………………………..

AN: Thanks for all the reviews. Next chapter is the last T__T I know it's a short story.


	6. Chapter 6

**My paper heart **

Bleeding hearts

**Disclaimer: I do not own ccs**

Normal POV

She was wide-awake. She looked up the ceiling while the man lying next to her slept peacefully. She thought of the decision she made, whether it was right or not. He turned over and slowly opened his eyes.

"You still awake?" he asked in a tired heavy tone.

She nodded discreetly "It's just, so much happened today."

He put an arm around her chest "I know it was hard for you but I'm glad you choose me." He's eyes were still closed. "Everything is going to change." He promised her.

Sakura flashed him a watery smile but she could not help but pity the man she could have been with. She hoped in her heart that change would indeed be brought to her unhappy life.

He stared at a half-empty glass of beer. It was past midnight but he was not ready to go back to the hotel room. He was not happy with the end result—rejection. How could she? Why? He could not comprehend. He knew he hurt her before but he was no longer that man. He was so certain that she loved him. His heart was bleeding heavily.

"Come on buddy, let me drive you back to your hotel." His friend grabbed his shoulder.

Syaoran shook his head and pulled his arm away "No…just leave me the alone." He muttered. His eyes were red and his hair wet from the rain outside.

Takashi looked at him with compassion "He's her husband. You just don't walk out of a marriage just because an old flame wants you back." Takashi tried to reason with him on why Sakura made the choice she did.

"It's was all perfectly set up. We have a child together damn it! You'd think that would count for something." He moaned. He rested his head on the bar table "I can't do it Takashi, I can't go on without her."

"Come on, you can't be serious. You sound like a love obsessed teenager."

"So be it!...I'm not giving up on her…" he said trying to pull himself together.

Takashi shook his head "You are way too drunk to function."

…………………………

Sakura's POV

I got up early that morning to find Ian on my side. Maybe he was being honest. I was not convinced at first that Ian would change but this was a start. I tied my hair in a ponytail and looked at the alarm clock on my bedside table.

"Aren't you going to work?" I asked Ian.

He sat up "its Saturday. Have you forgotten?"

I nodded absently "Oh yes."

He got out of bed and I watched him. "I am going to make us breakfast." He told me. My eyebrows shot up "Uhm…thank you."

He smiled at me "Anything for you."

I smiled back, I could not stretch my lips any further "You know you don't have to go out the way."

"No, I should have been like this with you a long time ago. Sakura I see what I've been doing wrong. The thought of you with another man got me really thinking."

"Alright."

That morning while I was bathing Asuna, she asked me a question that got me nervous. She played with her bath toys and asked "Mama, is Syaoran really coming back?"

"Yes, he's always going to be in your life."

She looked at me "He was crying. I think he's afraid of something."

I said nothing.

"I wish he was here."

"You have your Dad." My statement held a drop of dishonesty. I didn't know what was going to happen next or how Ian was going to be like. I used the past to help me get by. Ian was my husband; I made a vow to him on our wedding day. I could not just walk away.

"But Mama, Papa is always working and he doesn't like me." She said shaking her head.

I rinsed her body "That's crazy, he loves you so much."

"Sometimes I think he doesn't. He likes to shout at me and he never does anything with me."

I plastered a smile "Now he will."

"And he shouted at me for playing with his gun."

I froze, I could not speak. Though I did not completely understand what Asuna meant, her words frightened me."

"Gun…a toy gun?" I asked.

Asuna turned to play with her toys and said absently "I don't think so. It's just like the ones in the movies."

I ran my hand through my hair. Suddenly I was afraid. I feared that now that I made this decision, I would not be able to escape it.

"Asuna, when did you see this gun?" I asked, I was keen on knowing everything.

She scratched her head "A long time ago—I can't remember. He said that since I'm a girl, I should play with my Barbies. I don't think it's fair."

Many questions went through my mind like why he would have a gun to begin with and why he did not tell me. I hated the sight on any armed weapon. It had always been a personal fear of mine since my mother was brutally killed in front of me.

"Do you know where it is."

"He moved it." Asuna said "It used to be in the closet."

I bit my fingernails and felt the taste of soap in my mouth. My hart raced, all along there was a gun in the house and I did not know it.

I had to act pacified. It would be inappropriate to throw a scene especially since Ian had no clue of what happened to my mother.

All day I felt uneasy. When we spoke or swam in the pool, I could not be happy. When the sun set and the sky was painted black. I put allowed Ian to put Asuna to bed. He walked into the room loosening his tie.

"She's fast asleep." He informed me.

I nodded. My heart was in my throat. I could not yet find the strength to ask him about the gun. I turned on the lamp on my side of the bed. I tried to think of anything I could say to him, anything other than the gun. It would be inappropriate to ask him about his work but was all I really knew about him.

I looked out the window "The weather is great."

He smiled "Yeah, a little chilly though." He said causally.

Now, what was I going to say to him? I had to try to make this marriage work. I was not ready to accept the fact that I might have made a mistake. I knew in my heart that if I was with Syaoran, we would not be sitting quietly in a room alone. We would be chatting or making out…no…I had to block out any thoughts of Syaoran…even though I really…I can't.

"So, when is your father coming back from Amsterdam, he's been gone for almost a month."

"Next week." I said feeling a sense of relief in his interest to know more about me.

I turned to face him "Tell me about you. Tell me where you grew up and your parents. I know you don't have siblings."

"I do." He said suddenly.

"You never told me that."

"That's because he is not worth talking about. My younger brother, he deceived is family."

"How?"

Ian chuckled "He married a prostitute." Ian looked embarrassed and angry "Everyone knew her and yet he went off her. He was 18."

"When was this?"

"7 years ago, we haven't spoken to him since then. He brought shame to the family name. He was always up to no good, he smoked, he was constantly on drugs. I hate him."

I was surprised, Ian's family was known to be decent and to have strict morals.

"So you haven't spoken to him?"

Ian shook his head "But it's funny. All my life, my parents favored my brother. I was nothing to them. They never showed they cared about me. They needed me to get married, I couldn't even find a girlfriend. When I found you they were disappointed because you were pregnant but preferred it I get married to you anyway."

"If they didn't approve, would you have married me."

"No." Ian said softly. He sat next me.

"I always hated their rules. I know you don't love me the way you love Syaoran. You love him with all your heart but in spite of that, you put your feelings aside, to stay with me. Because you felt sorry for me. You put yourself before me and that's the kindest thing that anyone has ever done."

As I watched him tears filled my eyes. He managed to keep a straight face.

"I know I'm incapable of being a passionate and lovable man. I'm so angry about many things. I'm angry at my parents and my brother. I've always felt abandoned and unloved. I think that is why it's hard for me to love others." He said now struggling with his words.

"Oh…" I said in a quiet whisper.

"Did you know I was a virgin until I meet you."

I shook my head "I never wanted to talk about my past, I was always afraid that you would leave me. You Sakura, are the closest thing I've ever been to love and it hurt me that I can't love you the way you want to be loved. I can only try. I'm also sorry about Asuna." Tears filled his eyes.

"I am glad she has her father now. I'm no good."

I was speechless. His confession came all too sudden and it was a lot of information to take in. He hid his face away from mine and muttered under his heavy breathing "Don't hate your father. He loves you, he wanted to protect you from heart ache. He's always been good to me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." I confessed to him.

He held my face in his arms "You know Sakura, you are such an angel. You deserve better, you deserve Syaoran. It's like I needed to say that out loud in order to actually believe it." Tears streamed down his cheeks.

"But…you will have no one." I could not help but cry with him. "Syaoran has Asuna and so do I but if I don't try to love you…who will."

He released my face "Please…."

I shook my head hard "I'll have to let him go."

He placed his hands on his lap and said "Can you get me glass of water please."

I was confused, after spilling out his feelings to me he was asking for a glass of water. I did not want to leave him "No…you need to understand…"

He bit his lower lip "Just do it…I need to be alone for a minute.

I slowly walked out of the room. Before I went downstairs, I checked on Asuna. She was still fast asleep. My eyes were sinking in tears. I wish he had told me all this earlier. I ambled down stairs and took out a glass from the cupboard. While I poured the water I thought about everything he said. I thought of Syaoran…I could not take it….how was I to be strong?"

I walked back upstairs and opened the bedroom door. I was shocked at the sight I saw. It felt like I was in a movie and none of it was real. Ian was on the floor holding a gun up to his neck. I dropped the glass of water. As the water spilt on the wooden floor and the shattered glass spread across the floor I screamed his name on the top of my lungs.

"Don't do it…please."

He looked at me while I rushed to his side. He quickly stood up "Get away! Sakura, this is what I want. It was nothing to do with you!" he yelled at me.

"You can't…." I moved up to him and grabbed the hand that was holding the gun. "Stop it!" I cried trying to pull the gun away from him but he was much stronger than I was. Suddenly…

A bullet fired…

I felt it inside of me….

Tears were in my eyes….

I fell on the floor….

It was in my stomach…I could hear him screaming my name…I could not move…it felt like my mind was leaving my body………..

…………….

………………………………………

………………………………………………………………….

Normal POV

A man in a trench coat ran across the tiled corridor of the town central hospital. He could not stand the smell. He held his hand to his mouth allowing the tears from his to flow over his fingers. He was in his hotel room when a man called him. The man he despised, the man who had the luxury of being married to the woman he loved. The man on the phone was crying, his words were incoherent at first. The told him that Sakura had been shot. The man confessed that it was an accident. Straight after that, Syaoran heard a gunshot in the background.

He tried to get there as soon as possible but by the time he reached the house, the ambulance was gone. Neighbors gathered in front of the house. They said that the couple who lived in the house had been shot and the man of the house shot his wife then afterwards shot himself.

He could not stop the tears. He feared that she was gone. He asked the woman about the little girl, Asuna and they told him worriedly "Poor child. One of men took her in the ambulance. She fainted. She woke up and walked into her parent's room to find them dead on the floor. I wonder what drove the man to do such a thing."

Now Syaoran was trying to find the emergency room and his daughter. He walked past the waiting area when suddenly he saw a little girl in her pajamas sitting down. She held a white stuffed bunny. She looked traumatized. There was a woman sitting next to her.

Syaoran ambled to the waiting area. He moved closer to where she was sitting.

"Asuna." He said softly. He quickly mopped away the tears. He did not want her to see him cry.

Asuna looked up, her eyes were red and tears streamed down her red face. "Syaoran." She got off her chair, dropped her stuffed rabbit and ran into his arms. He carried her and hugged her as tightly as he possibly could.

"My Mama…she won't wake up!" the little girls cried out loud "I tried to make he wake up…she always wakes up but now she…she didn't want to."

Syaoran's eyebrows shot up at the possibility that she is dead.

"Don't worry, Mama is going to be fine." He did not believe a word he told her and it unsuitable for him to make such judgment since he did not know her medical condition. He just wished he could see Asuna smile. At that moment, he would kill to relieve the past week they spent together.

"And my Papa too!" she cried.

The woman that was sitting next to Asuna stood up. "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt you. My name is Mischa Goodwill, I'm a social worker. I was assigned to look after this little girl. Are you in anyway related to her?"

"She's my daughter." Syaoran did not hesitate.

The woman appeared to confused "But both of her parents are in the emergency room."

When Asuna heard this, she withdrew her head from his shoulder "No! you are not my daddy."

"It's a long story." Syaoran told the social worker "Can you please tell me what is going on?"

"Well, she's in the ER, she got shot on her stomach. She lost a lot of blood. Right now we can only hope that she will make it."

"And her husband."

The woman looked down then looked up at Syaoran "Unfortunately, he's dead. He shot through the heart. The doctors could not save him. They say we should wait and they will bring us an update."

Syaoran nodded and sat on the chair. They were in the waiting room for almost an hour now. Asuna fell asleep on the sofa. Syaoran was alert. The social worker was now gone and they were the only two there.

He reflected back on everything, from the time he met Sakura until the situation he found himself in. He remembered the first time he saw he. She was so quiet and innocent but he knew then that he already loved her. He was already drawn to her. She was like a light in his dark disjointed world. He could not imagine a life without her and he could not understand how he was ever able to live without her.

It was not more than an hour later when one of the doctors came into the waiting area. He looked up "Are you related to Miss Tamaki?"

He nodded "I'm a family friend." Syaoran stood up.

"Um…well, we did the best we could. We were able to get the bullet out of her body and luckily she did not loose as much blood as we had anticipated. Right now she's in a coma. There is no telling when she will wake up. There is nothing more we can do. Lets just hope her body can respond."

Syaoran sighed in relief "Can I see her?" he asked holing his hand to his heart.

"Yes, the nurses have moved her to room 402. It's upstairs."

"Thank you."

"Can I come?" a tiny voice came from behind him.

Syaoran turned around and nodded "Sure."

He held her hand and they started their way to the elevator.

"Is my mama going to be fine?" Syaoran looked at her, he did not know how to put it "Yes."

"What's wrong with her?"

Syaoran looked down noticing that she was not wearing any shoes. She stopped walking, and scooped her off the floor to carry her in his arms "She's asleep. You know…like sleeping beauty."

She nodded still confused "And my papa, he's never coming back." Tears filled her emerald eyes once more.

They reached the elevator and Syaoran pressed a button "I'm sorry Asuna."

They opened the door to room 402 where Sakura was lying still on the bed. Her face was pale and her eyes tightly shut. The warmth and crimson on her face had disappeared. She remind him of snow and darkness.

Asuna looked at Syaoran then her mother. "Make her wake up." She said.

"I'm sorry. It is all up to her." Syaoran put Asuna down and slowly ambled to Sakura. He was too afraid to touch her. Looking at her was unbearable.

Asuna was on Sakura's side crying.

He stroked her chin tears in his eyes now "Sakura please…wake up…we need you." He begged as though the words would wake her up. She was silent still, her eyes still closed.

There was a knock on the door. Both Asuna and Syaoran looked up to find Fujitaka standing before them. He was holding a plastic bag and wore a haggard look. His eyes narrowed to his daughter.

"Oh now, it's really happening." He said sadly "Is she…dead?"

Syaoran shook his head "No."

Asuna ran into her grand fathers arms "Grand pa" she cried.

They both waited patiently in the room. Syaoran briefly explained what happened. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore, not the fact that he was one of the reasons why Syaoran was not with Sakura and Syaoran was the man who broke his daughter's heart.

Fujitaka later left the room and Asuna fell asleep on the couch. Syaoran walked up to Sakura. He had his face staring directly at hers.

"I love you so much. I don't know how I'm going to do without you." He gently stroked her hair. He attempted to kiss her, he gently pressed his lips against hers hopping that she will wake up—just like in the movies. But she did not move.

He tightened his fist trying his best to bite back the tears.

For the next two weeks, he was constantly in her room waiting for her to wake up. Sakura lived with her grand father and she came to visit everyday. He's put a fresh bouquet of flowers by her window. Often they were her favorite, cherry blossom. Everyday Sakura had a new visitor, Ian's parents, her old friends and some of her neighbors visited. Her room was filled with gifts. Even Tomoyo and Eriol came all the way from England to see her.

When Tomoyo realized that Syaoran was no longer living his life, he was with her all the time. She pulled him outside Sakura's room.

"You can't do this to yourself. You've got a beautiful daughter who also needs you."

He frowned "So you are telling me to stop believing that she will wake up?"

Tomoyo rolled her eyes "Of course not, I'm simply asking you to not be so negative about all this. You still have Asuna. Maybe it's time you start being her father. Can you imagine how hard this is for her? She's only five and the two people she grew to know as her parents are not in her life right now. She doesn't know you as a father. If you are going to go through this, don't do it alone, do it with her."

He shook his head. He could not deny the truth. He looked at Sakura through the class. He tightened his fist. "She would like that."

**Two months later.**

Syaoran waited in the parking lot. He's looked outside then he looked at his watch. Finally he saw her. Asuna was running quickly to the car. She opened the back door.

"Sorry I'm late papa." She said putting on her seatbelt.

He turned around to ensure that she was doing it right "It's Alright."

"I got Mama, cherry blossoms." She said stretching her hand out to show him "She'll love those." He told her.

It was finally that time of day where they visited Sakura. She had been in a coma for two months now. Many things had changed since then, especially Syaoran. He bought a house, one that Asuna had to approve off before purchase. He knew that Sakura would love it. It was not too big and it had a beautiful garden. He even went out of his way to create a room where she could paint and draw. Asuna had changed school, she attendee a school much closer to their house and he and Fujitaka became friends. He also got Asuna the puppy that she always wanted.

While he was driving, he listened to Asuna go on about her day. She stuck her head out the window. "Asuna, please sit down." He told her.

She settled back on her seat "But papa, I want to see if I can fly out."

He chuckled "And how do you plan on doing that?"

"My wings are going to grow."

He chuckled. It felt like an ordinary day. He thought for a while about Ian's funeral and how Asuna cried everyday when she first moved in with him. She was a handful, she would cry for her mother and Ian and she was not open to the idea of having him yelling at her.

They reached the hospital and went up to Sakura's room. Asuna rushed to the vase "Good afternoon Mama." She said casually. She put the flowers in the vase while Syaoran sat next to Sakura.

"Papa." Asuna started "Doesn't she look like a princess." She said planting a kiss on Sakura's cheek after that.

"Yes she does." He told her.

"Kiss her…maybe she'll wake up. Like sleeping beauty." Asuna said excited.

He placed a hand on Asuna's head and playfully rand his hand over her bangs "That's only a story."

"Oh please!" she begged.

Syaoran nodded "Alright, we'll give it a shot."

Syaoran bent over and kissed Sakura's lips. He slowly withdrew. Her eyes were still closed. He settled back on the chair. He felt hurt that it did not work again. He turned his face and stared outside.

"Papa…" Asuna whispered "Her eyelashes moved."

Syaoran got out of his seat and looked at Sakura. Her eyes slowly opened……….

The end *__*

Sorry for spelling errors and thanks to all for the reviews. Bai…


	7. Epilogue

**My Paper Heart  
Epilogue  
The Madam and I**

Asuna leaned her head on the table. She shifted position placing her hand underneath her chin. Sheepishly smiling she said to her father "Papa, can I go now?"

His eyebrows descended "Come on, I thought you like parties."

"I do…it's just…this is boring." She whined.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. Syaoran woke Asuna from her nap. He needed help planning her mothers' birthday party. She had been in a coma for two months and he was more than willing to make it special for her. He never considered himself to be the type of man who thinks he understands women. He was clueless on the subject.

"So what do you think, should we have a theme?" he asked the confused little girl whose idea of a great party was balloons and magicians.

She shrugged "It depends on how much you are willing to spend." She said suddenly pretending to know what he expecting of her.

He watched her then smirk "Fine, go back to bed…I'll figure it out. Just remember it's a surprise. Don't tell your mama."

She nodded hard and smiled when she heard the sound of the front door open "That's her!" she yelled elated bouncing off the chair.

She ran to the door and was embraced my two gentle arms "Papa is making you a birthday party. He asked me for help!" she said without any hesitation.

One of Sakura's eyebrows rose as she scrutinised Syaoran who was now standing before them. He slipped his hands into his pocket. He had a firm smirk on his face that always reminded people of how drop dead gorgeous he was "Oh Asuna, you can't keep a secret."

"You never said it was a secret, you said it's a surprise." She said in a charade mellow tone.

Sakura kept her eyes fixed on Syaoran. She released Asuna "I thought we talked about this, no party. Sometimes I think you don't listen to me when I speak."

He ran his hands through his hair "Well Babe, I want this to be special for you."

"You two are special to me. Nothing can be better." She finally smiled. "Asuna, why don't you go to your room and get ready for dinner."

Asuna frowned "But it's not time for dinner yet."

"Well…go play with your toys. We would like to have a grown up talk." Sakura looked at Syaoran for a second then back at Asuna.

"Okay…fine…." She said unwillingly.

They watched her go upstairs and waited for the sound of her door slamming. The second they did, Sakura walked into Syaoran's arms. She snaked her hands around his neck and without him realising it, she forced him against the wall.

"I missed you." She whispered "All I could think of all day was you and the feeling of your body against mine." Sakura had defiantly surprised him the past few weeks. She told him that she was making up for all those times they could have been making love. She might have been such a lady in public but in bed, she was something else. Syaoran could not complain, she was everything he wanted.

Syaoran leaned closer to her face "I missed you too." He gently kissed her rosy lips.

A lot had changed since Sakura came out from the hospital. She was happier that she had ever been. Tomoyo lived a few miles from her, she was working on her first Manga, was co-owner of Tomoyo's company and she had all the love in the world from her boyfriend and daughter. She was able to break away from that coy girl she used to be.

As their tongues clashed in a passionate kiss, she gently pressed her body against his wanting him to feel her breasts on his chest knowing the reaction she would earn from it. He moaned into the kiss then reluctantly they both pulled away.

"I need to go change. These shoes are killing me; you won't believe what Tomoyo wanted to make me do today. "

He chuckled expecting the worst. "Is she still making you take pictures in her latest designs?"

"She made me wear this dress made out of plastic and she hired a photographer to come take pictures outside."

"It's like nothing ever changed. Sometimes this doesn't feel real."

She smiled at him; her hands were still around his neck "Yeah." She said in a half whisper. She hugged him "I love you so much."

He held her in his arms closing his eyes "and I you."

After dinner, while Asuna coloured in her colouring book, the couple could not help but reminisce about the past. Syaoran sat across her with a glass of wine in his hands. He laughed heartily as Sakura explained to him her attempts to get him to see her as more than a friend.

"Remember that day I wore make up to school and heels." She told him.

He nodded immediately breaking into laughter, he remembered it clearly. She wore so much make up, she looked like a hooker. "Yeah, how can I possibly forget that?"

"It was for you." She said dryly hitting his shoulder. "I wanted to show you that I was not just your friend, I wanted you to see me for me. Instead you said I looked horrible." She pouted.

"Well, you kinda did." He said trying not to laugh. "But…it was cute." He added…"now that I think of it."

Sakura took a sip of her wine "Guys can be so insensitive." She commented feeling irritated "And you wonder why women act the way they do."

"I was young, if I'd realised it earlier…" he's words were cut off.

"Let's just say my father would have killed you."

He paused and his face turning bright red. She poked his cheek with her finger and giggled "Uh, how cute, you're blushing."

Asuna ambled into the room. She yawned and climbed on to the chair leaning her head on her mother's lap. "I'm so sleepy." She said.

"It's past your bedtime." Sakura stroked Asuna's long chestnut hair.

"Do I still have to go to Aunt Tomoyo's house after school?"

Syaoran nodded "Yeah, why, I thought you liked her."

"I do." She said softly "But whenever Eriol comes she stops paying attention to me. She only talks to him.

Syaoran chuckled then looked at Sakura who had a similar expression on her face. Slowly she fell asleep. Syoaran carried her upstairs and put her to bed. When he walked into their bedroom, he found Sakura sitting at the edge of the bed. She stared at him anxiously "Is she asleep."

He nodded "Dead asleep."

With those words she quickly started to undress "I can't wait any longer." He locked the door and before he knew it, she was in his arms kissing him like her life depended on it. They moved to bed and Sakura was in full control. She helped him take his clothes off. While she nibbled unto his ear he suddenly said to her "Are you sure you don't want a party…." Then he groaned "Oh, that feels good."

"Yap." She said quickly grabbing his lips with hers. When she left his mouth, he asked "But I already got caterers and I've told a few people."

Slightly frustrated she muttered "Call it off."

Suddenly her face disappeared under the sheets. He could feel her lips on his chest and she moved down to his torso. He could not help but moan after each kiss "But…" he paused "Oh yes…" he took a deep breath trying to enjoy what she was doing and convince her to let him throw a party for her at the same time "Honey, I just can't do that."

She stopped kissing him and said "You know I'm not into that stuff, you know big parties and besides it's the first time I'm meeting your family since before Asuna was born. Your mother is nice but she scares me sometimes. Like that one time she said that I bring out the worst in you."

"She wasn't serious and besides, she wants to see Asuna."

"Fine with me, she can see Asuna but we don't need to have a party." Sakura progressed. He face came out from underneath the sheets. She kissed his lips then said "What if they hate me for marrying Ian?" Her features softened and for the first time he understood why she was not so keen on meeting his family.

"I'll disappoint your mother. She was always so particular on the kind of girl she wanted you to marry. You remember, she went around telling people that her son would marry a pretty virgin from a rich family.

Syaoran chuckled then stroked her hair "I can't believe you remember that."

She nodded kissing his rugged chin. She leaned her head on his chest "She's not as forgiving as you are. She's going to hate me for not telling you about Asuna earlier and…"

"Shh…" he interrupted then kissed her bare shoulder "It doesn't matter. What if we get this thing over with and I invite her for lunch tomorrow?"

Sakura looked at him uncertain.

He caressed her chin "I promise, it won't be bad."

"Alright." She said closing her eyes.

"So, are we going to make love or what?" Syaoran gently shook her but she did not move. She had already fallen asleep. He sighed in disappointment.

**Next morning at Tomoyo's apartment**

"So he wants me to meet his mother. Oh just the thought of her makes me want to crawl under a table. I'm going to have to talk about Ian and you know how much I hate telling that story."

Tomoyo placed her arms on her waist then giggled "Oh , I remember Syaoran's mother very well. Part perfectionist, part bitch…."

"Tomoyo…" Sakura cut her off "That's my future mother in law you're talking about."

"Tomoyo croaked her head, you know it's true. Though she was kind, she was still bithcy. Don't you remember, she would go…Sakura sweet heart don't put elbows on the table, please tie your hair up…have you ever considered getting a real job, you were fifteen for crying out loud. So what you used to wear a chicken suit and hand out pamphlets."

Sakura laughed nervously.

"And when will Syaoran propose, we all know it's going to happen, why is he hesitating?"

Sakura flushed coyly "Um…It's only like a month ago since I woke up from a coma. We never dated Tomoyo. We can't rush into marriage without knowing if we can make it work."  
Tomoyo rolled her eyes "What do you mean by 'if' of course you two are going to be together. You can't even stand an hour without bringing up his name. Though you haven't dated, you are still living together."

Sakura nodded agreeably. "So I hear you are hanging out with Eriol. I thought you two don't talk to each other anymore."

"Who told you that." Tomoyo made a face as though she was suddenly disgusted.

"Asuna." Sakura said with a glint.

"Your daughter has a big mouth. He visited me a few times, that's all." She said pretending not to care.

"I thought you said you two couldn't make it work. You said you broke up so many times and you could not see the possibility of any kind of relationship with him."

Tomoyo nodded agreeably "Relax, it was just a visit."

What Tomoyo was not telling Sakura was that it was more than one visit. She was ashamed of all the things she allowed him to do to her. They met for the first time after six months and instead of having a decent conversation, he was in her bed. He hurt her countless times. When they lived together, he always put his job and his studies before her and still she always took him back. She promised herself it would be the last time but every time he was around, she would lose her ability to think.

"I hope you're not sleeping with him." Sakura said.

Tomoyo's eyes nearly popped out as her heart raced in panic. She immediately remembered the last words he told her. "I know we shouldn't have but. I….I miss you."

Tomoyo faked a laugh "Of course not, are you kidding me. Eriol is one of those men who never grow up. He and I do not see eye to eye."

"Whatever you say, last time I checked Eriol was a mature, sophisticated man with a sexy English accent."

Tomoyo gulped "That was years ago." Tomoyo blushed.

Tomoyo held her hand to her heart "Fine, I am but it won't happen again. What Eriol and I had is nothing like what you and Syaoran have. It was just about lust and desire and nothing else."

Sakura wanted to give her some sort of comfort but she could not find the right words.

**Lunch time**

Sakura stared at her wrist watch nervously. _Why did Yelan suggest such a fancy restaurant? Maybe she's afraid of my cooking? And why did I choose this dress, what was I thinking. It's so damn short! Maybe she won't notice._ Sakura thought nervously. Syaoran's hand closed over her "Don't be nervous. You are acting like you are meeting them for the first time."

Sakura sheepishly smiled "I'm not nervous."

He kissed her cheek "Relax."

Asuna swung her legs and played with the cutlery. She wore a floral summer dress. She looked around scrutinising every person that caught her eye.

They saw Syaoran's mother walk in. Yelan was wearing a white and as usual, she was not with Syaoran's father.

"Hello Sakura, you look lovely." Yelan said taking Sakura by surprise "Thank you."

"And as for you Syaoran, maybe you should consider shaving. You don't look presentable." She looked like she was itching to pull his ear.

"And you must be Asuna."

Asuna looked up; her big emerald eyes staring back at Yelan. "How come you know me?"

"I am your grandmother." She said joyfully.

"I didn't know I had another grandmother." She said coyly. The only grandmother she knew was Ian's mother.

Yelan looked at Syaoran and shook her head "You didn't tell her I exist!? Why do you act like you were raised as an orphan?"

Syaoran sighed.

Yelan sat down "She is definitely a Li, no doubt about it. Only our genes can produce such a beautiful little girl."

Sakura and Syaoran looked at each other surprised. _"Is she high?" _Sakura asked herself.

"You should have more; you know how much I love kids. I hope you two are having a lot of sex."

Sakura's eyebrows rose, she wanted to block Asuna's ears but it was too late. Sakura and Syaoran's faces were bright red. They both looked Asuna who did not seem to be paying attention.

"Mother…are you drunk?" Syaoran asked not really expecting an answer.

"I don't drink, you know that."

Syaoran shook his head "She's drunk. We better get her out of here before she humiliate herself.  
"But how?"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

Syaoran practically forced her out of the restaurant and the four of them drove back home.

**Next morning (Sakura's birthday)**

Yelan woke up to find a pair of forest green eyes staring directly at her. Asuna leaned in closer not realising that Yelan could see her.

"Where am I?" Yelan asked.

Asuna immediately jumped off the bed "Um…at my house." She said fearfully.

"Oh, Asuna, it's you. You don't have to be shy around me you know. I'm your papa's mother."

Asuna recoiled "If you are my grandmother, how come you don't wear classes, you are not fat and you don't have wrinkles….and, you don't have a lot of nose hair."

She chuckled "Not all grandmothers look like that."

"Come in." She said softly.

Syaoran opened the door and peeped in. He looked at Asuna who was sitting on the bed next to Yelan.

"Good morning." He said judging her with his eyes. He still could not believe the events of the previous day. She was always so quick to judge everyone else and had strict rules in their home when it came to alcohol, now here she was, trying to live through the hangover.

"Where is Sakura?" she asked aware that he was disappointed in her.

"She went to visit her father." He said "Mom, it's her birthday tomorrow and we're planning a party for her."

"So you weren't planning to invite me?" she said suddenly.

Syaoran inwardly sighed, why was she suddenly interested in their lives anyway?

"Don't look at me like that, that's how your father looks at me when he thinks I've lost my mind. I like it here, I don't think I want to go back to that lonely hotel room."

"Are you serious?" he arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well this house is big and they are only the three of you. I'd like to know my lovely granddaughter. She has so much to learn, playing the piano, ballet..."

Syaoran chuckled "Mother, you insisted I have a proper upbringing, I want that for Asuna as well."

"That doesn't mean I won't try."

Syaoran sighed walking away "Do what you must."

…………

That night before bed, as Sakura cleared her books from the bed. She looked at Syaoran from the corner of her eye. He was acting nonchalant in his disposition as he took off his shirt. She placed the books on the bedside table.

"Syao…" she started in a sweet voice "Why didn't you tell me that your dearest mother would be staying with us."

"I didn't know she would, she invited herself. I mean I love my mother, it's just strange having her here."

"Maybe it's for the best. It would be great to have her around." Sakura said surprising Syaoran.

"I thought you were scared of her?" he asked now pulling down his trousers.

She shook her head hard "Me, afraid of her? Maybe a little intimidated but now that I know she drinks and gets drunk, she's less intimidating."

Sakura ambled to Syaoran. She put her arms around his neck. "You don't look convinced." She said her gaze lingering on his lips.

"You two should go shopping together." He wrapped his hands around her waist.

Sakura chortled at the thought of the possibility. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against hers. His arms gently caressed her back as she responded eagerly. He reached for her hand and clasped his fingers between hers. Sakura moaned into the kiss. His kisses matured, they became greedy and rough. He held her closer. He reached for the zipper of her dress which he gladly pulled down. Her dress automatically fell to the floor.

They moved to the king sized bed where he lay comfortably on top of her threatening to rip off her black lacy bra. Suddenly the door swung open. The couple immediately stopped and saw that Syaoran's mother was standing in the middle of the door.

"Syaoran, my television doesn't seem to be working." She said as though she did not notice that the couple were getting into the act. Sakura pulled up her bra but Syaoran remained still. He was like a criminal caught red handed.

"Mother…" he finally spoke "We're….um…"

"Busy." Sakura added irritated and embarrassed.

Yelan shook her head knowingly "I can see that, I just need Syaoran to fix something for me. It won't be long, I'm sure you can wait."

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"She kept him up all night, she kept asking for things." Sakura told Tomoyo the next day at work. "She's so annoying, I liked her better when she was mean."

"I always thought she liked you."

Sakura pondered "She does like me; I think…, I don't know Tomoyo. Every time we are alone or want to make love she suddenly appears. I feel sex deprived."

Tomoyo sighed "Sakura, you're being dramatic, it's only been one day."

"Two days, I fell asleep the day before cause Syaoran kept on talking."

Tomoyo laughed to herself.

"She went on to say, you two should close the door, what if Asuna walks in." Sakura swallowed a look of distaste. "And to make things worse she's advising me on how to 'satisfy' Syaoran. I've never felt so shy in my life. Is that normal behaviour."

"She just wants more grandchildren." Tomoyo was laughing.

Sakura took out a folder "Here is the new design for your website. Now all we need to do is advertise it."

"Our website Sakura, we're partners now." Tomoyo pointed out "Are you going somewhere?" Tomoyo asked noticing Sakura heading for the door. "I have lunch with my future mother in law; hopefully she's not drunk this time."

**TO BE CONTINUED**

A/N: Hi everyone, I decided to put up this chapter for all of you who were interested on what would happen next. This was quiet hard cause I never go back on a story but I felt I had to. Hope it's satisfying, I tried. This is a little similar to something else I've written. I hope you like it.


	8. Epilogue part 2

**My Paper Heart  
Epilogue Part 2  
the Party and the Disaster**

Sakura played with her fingers; she needed some form of distraction while the woman sitting across the table ordered for her. She insisted it and Sakura, being the woman that she was, allowed her. Sakura slowly looked up, coy and anxious all at once. "This is a beautiful restaurant." She pointed immediately feeling awkward after that.

Yelan smiled at the waiter then looked at Sakura "So, do you plan to marry my son?"

The question did not struck her by surprise, Yelan always got straight to the point. Sakura nodded shyly "Um…yes."

"You don't have to suddenly be shy around me. To be honest, I still can't believe you didn't tell Syaoran all these years that he had a daughter, I know it's complicated but still…"

Sakura looked straight into Yelan's eyes "It wasn't easy for me." She didn't know what to say.

"Anyway, it's all in the past." Her eyebrows strategically rose. "Asuna is so lovely." She smiled "And smart too, you can only imagine how confusing the change was for her. She lost the man who she knew as her father, and now she has to adjust to having Syaoran as her father. She still doesn't think he's her real father. She calls him her new papa and she calls Ian her real dad. Don't you think you and Syaoran should have waited a little bit longer before you decided to start sleeping in the same bed? I'm not saying you shouldn't have started having…um…you know what I mean. Imagine what Asuna's perception of marriage will be. It hasn't even been six months since your previous husband passed on…" If Yelan had once taken the time to look into Sakura's face, she would have seen that she was crying.

"How do you know what Asuna thinks."

"I asked her about it, the way she put it is 'Just because I'm a kid doesn't mean I don't know. I know my real daddy is never coming back'…." Yelan stopped when she saw that Sakura was in tears.

"Why…why are you crying?"

"Because you're right. I always make the wrong choices. I'm a horrible mother."

Yelan was speechless, she watched Sakura break down and started to think that maybe she shouldn't have said all those things. Who was she to judge Sakura anyway?

"If I choose Syaoran—I could have….." she wiped away a stream of tears.

"I'm sorry for being so harsh, I shouldn't have said that. It's none of my business." Yelan said bluntly but Sakura did not feel any better. She kept on crying, people were starting to stare.

"I've always been so weak."

"Sakura, please….just stop crying. Listen I'm not perfect either alright. My husband has filed for divorce. No one knows. I couldn't even tell Syaoran."

Sakura stopped crying, she looked up in disbelief "Then why are you telling me?"

She rose her shoulders "Because….I don't know, you don't hesitate to cry when things go wrong. I always put on a straight face. I like it when people get the perception that I live a perfect life and I'm alright but the truth is I'm hurt. I put everything aside for Syaoran's father. Now this."

"You have to tell Syaoran." Sakura insisted.

"Are you kidding me, Syaoran looks up to his father? He'll blame me."

Sakura accidently smirked "So that's why you were drunk." She giggled then immediately put on a straight face "Syaoran loves you; he never talks about his father. The one time he came to spend the winter, Syaoran was so excited. I've never seen him so happy and I've never seen him so sad. After a week his father left for a business trip. I remember it was snowing. He took me to the park, he was quiet then suddenly he started to cry. He hugged me and told me doesn't care anymore. He said that he doesn't think he will ever have a relationship with his father." If Sakura had taken time to look into Yelan's face, she would have realised that Yelan was crying.

"I'm sorry!" Sakura said.

Yelan shook her head "No, it's alright. I just needed to cry.

……………………..

After an emotional afternoon, Sakura lay on the living room couch. She could not help but think about what Yelan said. Her train of thought was interrupted when her phone vibrated. Slowly getting up, Sakura answered the call.

"Hello." She said in a mellow tone.

"You won't believe this Sakura!" Tomoyo exclaimed.

Sakura rubbed he eyes "What?"

"I think Syaoran is going to propose to you."

Sakura chuckled. "Oh really?" she said in sarcasm.

"I saw him at the jewellery store with Eriol. When I asked Eriol about it, he said that Syaoran was getting something for you." Tomoyo released a girly scream.

Sakura held her hand to her mouth "Really?" she asked astound.

"Yes, it might just be tonight, or tomorrow, on your birthday."

Sakura's hands trembled as her lips formulated a wide smile. She bit her lower lip as thoughts went racing through her mind like her wedding dress, where would they go for their honeymoon, she could only imagine the engagement ring.

"Are you still there?" Tomoyo asked.

"Yes I am, are you sure?" Before Tomoyo answered, Sakura heard the sound of front door open."I'll talk to you soon, Syaoran and Asuna are home."

She rushed to the door like a child rushes to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. "Hi, your home." She said looking at Syaoran with tears of joy in her eyes. She noticed the shopping bag he had in his hand. He was trying his best to hide it. He gave her an awkward smile "I thought I'd find you crying, I guess lunch with my mother went well."

Sakura pulled him into her arms wrapping her hands around his neck. She kissed his lips then his cheek. "Why are you so late?" she asked.

Syaoran first cleared his throat like he always did when he on the verge of telling a lie. "Uh, Asuna wanted to um…buy dog food but we couldn't find the right packet." He scratched his eyebrow.

Sakura simply grinned, oh she loved this. She could just roll on the floor and laugh at his attempt to lie to her. Standing outside with the mail (that her mother seemed too lazy to pick up because she was tired of reading all those letters of apology) in her hands, Asuna could not help but overhear her father's statement.

"Papa, don't lie." She said disappointed, after all he was the one who relentlessly told her that lying was no good "We went to town straight after he picked me up from school. Daddy said that my dog already has enough dog food."

Syaoran turned bright red and croaked his head to look at Sakura. He imagined that she would be angry but she was smiling.

Asuna handed the mail to her mother "Mama, you forgot the mail in the mailbox again."

Sakura looked at Asuna for a split second. "Honey, why don't you just use them to draw your pictures…. use your imagination."

"Hey, where's grandma."

"I don't know. Why don't you go upstairs and change out of your uniform then you can help me prepare dinner."

"Cool?" Asuna said goggle eyes, she quickly ran out of the room.

"I should also change, this tie is killing me."

Sakura loosened his tie for him; she bit her lower lip seductively and said in a half whispered "Is that better."

Confused, Syaoran nodded "Yeah…."

"I don't think your mother will be spending the night with us." She assumed.

"You have to tell me what happened at lunch between you two, you are acting very strange."

Sakura beamed "No, this has nothing to do with her." She planted a kiss on his lips."I have something planned for you tonight now that she won't be around to interrupt us."

"Sounds exciting, Asuna is learning how to tell the time. We better set the clocks an hour back so that she can go to sleep early tonight."

Sakura nodded then giggled like a child "That's evil." She kissed him once more.

Asuna walked into the room with a tiny pink apron on. She squinted her eyes then made a disgusted face "Ewww, mama, don't you know boys have germs"

Sakura turned bright red "Who told you that?"

"Everyone knows that, duh."

Syaoran walked up to Asuna and carried her into his arms "Oh really, so you're saying your papa has germs." He tickled her. She yelled and laughed at the same time "Let's see if I really have germs." He kissed her cheeks, her forehead her nose while she screamed "No!" between laughter. Finally he put her down.

"I don't feel so well." Asuna said in a pretence tone "I might just have a fever."

Sakura shook her head as she watched Asuna.

"I feel…dizzy…Mama call the doctor. My own father has poisoned me." She dramatically sat on the floor then lay down and slowly she closed her eyes.

"Asuna, get up."Syaoran said nearly laughing, his daughter was sure some drama queen.

"Syaoran, just leave her there. I guess I'll just have to cook dinner on my own."

Asuna immediately got up "No, I'm fine, see!"

………………

After supper and after Asuna was finally tucked in bed. Sakura looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her hair was wet from the shower she took and she had nothing on but a silky short pink robe. The bathroom door opened and Syaoran peeked in "Hey."

She turned to look at him "Hi."

He walked behind her then wrapped his hands around her waist. "Where's my surprise?" he kissed her neck. Sakura beamed then suddenly held his hand "Come, let me give you a massage."

"We haven't made love in a while and you want to give me a massage." He told her dryly.

"It will get you in the mood."

Syaoran sighed.

He sat on the edge of the bed and she knelt behind him. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before her hands snaked to his tense shoulders. She grabbed his shoulders and tightly squeezed them.

"Ouch." Syaoran yelped, he couldn't keep it in. He never quite got around to telling his lovely Sakura that she gives the most painful massages. She was bound to disable him from the one act he had been anticipating all day.

"Sorry." She apologised.

With a tear in his eye he said in a hoarse tone "it's alright."

With those words she proceeded while he was trying his best the bear the pain. "I like the way things are right now. I wish we could stay like this forever." She said with a grin on her face.

"Me too…" he was in too much pain to say more.

When she finally stopped, he could not feel his bones anymore. Despite that, he was still anticipating what they were to do next. He could already imagine his naked body moving rhythmically against hers. His face turned bright red, suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Mama, Papa…can I please sleep with you. I had a bad dream."

The next day, Syaoran made sure that Sakura left early in the morning. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before she headed for her car. "No surprise party." She told him winking at him. "I promise." He lied straight through his teeth. He was proud of himself; it was a fantastic idea to book her a whole day at the Spar.

Before Lunch time, he had the Caters and decorators to come in. He wasn't planning anything big; in fact only 10 people were invited. But everything had to be perfect for his Sakura. It seemed like it was going to be the perfect night.

"Asuna! Don't touch that." He warned her as she played with the wine glasses.

"Can I drink in this?" she asked him.

"Not now, it's for the guests."

Finally the guests arrived, all dressed to the nines. The guests included Tomoyo and Eriol. Chiharu and Takashi and a familiar face that made Syaoran want to pull his eyes out. Her name Sara, the same woman he lost his virginity to years ago.

The instant he saw her, his jaw dropped and he pulled Eriol to a corner. "What's that woman doing here?" he asked irritated and unable to contain himself.

Eriol fixated his gaze on Sara "Chiharu's cousin, you know that."

"Why she here, Chiharu is knows that this is Sakura's party. What the hell!" he said wanting to scream.

Eriol chuckled "Talk about the worst case scenario."

"It's not funny." Syaoran granted.

He could only imagine how Sakura would react. Countless times Sakura warned him about dating Sara Mitchell; he went on and did it any. Sakura hated Sara from the start so when Syaoran lost his virginity to her, he did not tell Sakura. He felt horrible and ashamed afterwards.

Syaoran avoided the party area; he sat on the counter in the kitchen and waited for eight o'clock. What was he going to tell her?

"Are you okay?" a voice startled him.

He looked up to find that Sara was staring at him. If he could he would chase her away but it would be dishonourable and besides, she's Chiharu's cousin. "Hi." He muttered trying to restrain himself from saying more.

She was wearing a short red dress and had her strawberry blonde hair in a bun.

"You've really changed, I always knew you would end up with Sakura." She took a sip of her wine.

He gave her a plastic smirk.

"At least someone got their happy ending. A girl can never forget how it feels like to be with you. Sakura is so lucky."

"Uh…" he's mouth went dry and he had nothing to say to that comment.  
He looked down then as he withdrew his head to look up, Sakura was standing behind Sara.

He strained his eyes looking at her "Hi….uh, surprise."

Sakura had a plain look on her face as though she did not really care that Sara was in the same room as her. "I knew what you were up to." She smiled at him, "where's Asuna?"

Syaoran heaved a sigh of relief, "she's in her room. She says she's too shy to come out."

"Oh, sorry." Sakura's gaze shifted to Sara. "Hi there."

Sara smiled "Sakura, you look lovely, I almost didn't recognise you."

After the girls spoke for a while, Syaoran pulled Sakura out of the crowd to the guest room. Sakura's heart beat so fast, so this was it? He gently closed the door. "I think no one is going home tonight, with the way these guys are drinking. I'm glad Asuna is asleep."

Sakura nodded too nervous to utter a word. He walked up to her. He gently caressed her cheek "You look so beautiful tonight."

She smiled back at him "Tonight?"

"You know what I mean." He smiled back. He leaned in and kissed her mouth to the point where she had to withdraw because he did not seem like he wanted to stop.

"So, um…why did you bring me here?" she asked smiling nervously at him.

"Well, isn't it obvious." He smirked his eyes darkening. "I brought you here so that I can kiss you. I miss holding you."

Her heart shattered like glass, was this some kind of sick joke? How could he be so insensitive…how could she think he…

"So what did you get me for my birthday." She asked purposely.

"This party." He answered casually. He moved closer to her, she pushed him away "Everyone is waiting!" She said then immediately walked out.

…………….

She sat on the bed and stared at the door, it was a disastrous evening. She felt like a fool for being so enthusiastic about the idea of marrying him. She could still recall the look in his eyes when she blurted out. Tears burnt her eyes as she tried to pull herself together; she feared that he'd suddenly walk in and see her crying. Of course he would ask her what was wrong and try to comfort her. She would lie and try to convince him that she was alright. What possessed her to believe that she really needed a ring on her finger—the whole ordeal would be inappropriate, too soon.

The door opened and Tomoyo walked in and closed it.

"Are you alright, I'm sorry for misleading you. Honest."

"I know." She said trying to hold herself together.

That evening after everyone was gone, Asuna played with the plastic cups on the glass table. She stacked them in a pile. She was awoken by the sound of people singing. She watched her father, haggard and distress. He could not remember what it was that he could have done to keep Sakura so distant. She had been sleeping for almost an hour now and she was silent in her disposition. Her synthetic smile made holes in his paper heart. He picked up the few bottles of wine that were left hidden behind a corner.

"Papa." Asuna began unable to adjust to the silence.

He could not hear her voice; all he could think about was Sakura.

"I know why she is sad." Asuna said gathering his attention in a split second.

"Why?" he looked at Asuna.

"You didn't get her balloons for her birthday."

Syaoran simply smiled at Asuna "You better get ready for bed, it's way past your bed time."

She frowned "O…kay."

Syaoran opened the bedroom door; the lamp light was the only source of light. Sakura lay in bed with the sheets covering her entire body. He took off his t-shirt and tossed it on the couch. He sat on his side of the bed and slid his wristwatch over his hand.

"I don't know what you're mad about. It's not like I invited her." He said to Sakura. "I should be the one angry here."

"Angry? About what?" she said murmured.

"Why didn't you tell me that my parents were getting a divorce?" his eyes shifted to her figure. She was still in her disposition.

"It's not any of my business. You're mother was entitled to tell you the truth."

He shed a sarcastic laugh "In the old days you would never have kept this from me."

Sakura sat up and looked at him "I only found out yesterday. Sometimes you are not very understanding. You are mad at me because I respected your mother's privacy. Syao I know you are angry about your parents' divorce and you are simply looking for someone to blame. I'm your wi….girlfriend, not a punching bag. Do you know how horrible this day was for me? You simply assume that I'm angry because one of your old girlfriends came to the party."

"Sakura for the last time, I did not invite her!" Syaoran raised his voice.

"How am I suppose to feel when she is telling me all this sexual stuff you two did together?"

"You had a smile on your face Sakura; I thought you were alright with it. What do you want me to do? Tell me, I can't go back in time and change the way I used to be. I've changed and I thought you knew that."

She turned her face away "I'm not in the mood for this. Just…go away."

Syaoran bit his lower lip "No Sakura, we're going to talk about this! You can't just ignore it!"

Sakura dropped her head on the pillow and closed her eyes "You're making noise. Asuna is sleeping..."

Syaoran tightened his jaw; he grabbed the pillow on his side of the bed. He looked at her then heaved a sigh. He wasn't going to let her win by her simply ignoring him. Certain measure had to be taken to prove to her that he was serious—like sleeping on the couch for instance.

The next morning when he was on his way to dropping Asuna to school, he could feel the pain in his neck. Why was it that he only remembered that there was a guest room after he slept through the night on the couch?

"Papa, why did you sleep on the couch?" Asuna asked noticing how he was constantly massaging his neck.

"Uh…"he kept his eyes fixed on the road "I wanted to see how it was like."

"O…kay." Asuna smiled unconvinced.

When he reached his office at the firm, he immediately sat on the chair and rested his head on the desk. He only saw Sakura once that morning and she did not say a word to him. She had an artificial smile on her face that made him slightly nervous. On top of that, she wore a mini skirt, her way of reminding him that he wasn't going to get any anytime soon.

The door opened and in walked in his old pal Eriol with a coffee mug in his hands. Eriol did not work there; he just had a way on inviting himself on several occasions. He worked in the building opposite the firm.

"I need your help!" he said closing the door behind him "Wait…what's wrong with you?"

Syaoran sighed "I'm not in a good mood, go away."

Eriol placed the coffee mug on Syaoran's desk "Is it Sakura, she looked upset last night."

Syaoran averted his gaze to Eriol "We fought, I can't even remember why. All I know is that she said some mean things. What are the chances of this lasting, we're not married yet but we're already fighting. If she was still my best friend we wouldn't have fought. We always got along."

"You need to realise something, she is not your best friend. You're in a relationship now. Couples fight all the time. Since you are a man, you have to say sorry, even if she's wrong."

Syaoran rolled his eyes "Forget it, I won't let her win."

"Get over yourself." Eriol said annoyed.

Syaoran shot Eriol a sharp sardonic look that pierced through Eriol. With that, Eriol changed the topic "When must I propose to Tomoyo?"

Syaoran laughed "I still can't believe you want her to marry you, she hates your guts. She's going to say no."

"I know it's risky but, I love her, she knows that." Eriol had his eyes fixed on the floor as he spoke "She got all suspicious about the ring we went to get so I told her that you were planning on proposing to Sakura."

Syaoran released a fake laugh "You should have seen her yesterday, she was so pissed."

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Tomoyo and Sakura were dressing the mannequin dolls. They sat on the floor while Sakura gave Tomoyo a report on Syaoran's recent behaviour.

"Well, he didn't propose He said the party was his gift to me. He's so whack."

Tomoyo giggled hysterically.

"I don't think he wants us to get married and I'm cool with that. I don't need a ring around my finger."

Tomoyo rolled her eyes "Sure."

"And then, he comes upstairs and practically starts blaming me for his parent's divorce. He's such an ass. If we were still friends, he wouldn't have yelled at me, he would have understood. When we were friends, we never fought."

"But you are not friends. Eriol and I fought all the time but it never changed my feelings for him."

Sakura smiled "Do you still love him?"

Tomoyo's face went bright red "It doesn't matter anyway. He hates me."

…………..

That evening, when Syaoran got home, he found Sakura busy in the kitchen. He walked in casually; she was still wearing that tiny skirt. He purposely cleared his throat to get her attention. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry and that she had won, but his male drive got the best of him.

"Where's Asuna?"

"At her friend's house, Lily. Lily's mother is going to bring her back."

He knew that, he just needed somewhere to start from.

He nodded then started his way upstairs "I'm not having dinner tonight. I already ate." He knew how Sakura hated it when he did that.

"Don't worry, I didn't cook for you."

"Oh…" he said nodding.

When he came out of the shower, he was surprised to find Sakura sitting on the bed a sexy pair of red lingerie. He's initial thought was "How come I've never seen her in that one. He could not help but stare.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she said in a somewhat seductive tone.

"Um…" he turned blushed "Do you mind. I have to…um…."

"It must be really **hard** for you." She smiled at him.

Syaoran could feel his palms getting sweaty "What's hard?" He was now looking like a tomato.

"You know what, never mind."

He shook his head then turned away "I don't know why you're even talking to me. If you think I'm going to give in, you're wrong. I'm going down stairs. I can't stand the smell of desperation oozing from you."

"Desperation?" Sakura laughed.

"You are desperate for me Sakura." And with those words he left.

…………..

Eriol looked at the woman sitting across the other side of the table. Although his visit was somewhat sudden and awkward all at once, it was necessary. She made dinner and opened a bottle of wine. She had on a beautiful white dress that insinuated her long raven hair.

"This is the first time you and I have been sane since we got back to Japan. "He said nervously "It's nice."

She smirked "There is nothing left for us to do now, we've fought about stuff married people haven't even fought about yet and we've done **it** in so many positions. I'm all out of ideas."

He laughed "I might still have a few ticks under my sleeve."

Tomoyo chortled "All we have now is kindness towards each other."

He nodded agreeably.

"We had to face the truth, eventually, romance dies and people change."

This was not what he wanted to hear "Do you really believe that?" his tone changed drastically. He was serious and scared.

She took a deep breath "Uh…no I don't. It just makes more sense than us."

"Love is not supposed to make sense Tomoyo, you told me that."

She put her hands on the table and looked into his eyes "What are you trying to say."

"What if we try again, what if things are different? I can't handle being away from you. I'm lost and nothing fills this void. I want you Tomoyo."

"Are you asking me to start dating you again?" she asked apprehensively.

Eriol shook his head "No." he said his lips barely moving, He took out the ring from his pocket and placed the ring on the table "I'm asking you to marry me."

Tomoyo was still, she could not believe it. Eriol was always afraid of commitment and he was the one person she knew who didn't believe in marriage.

"But you…you…."

"I know, I was afraid of the idea of giving a piece of myself to someone but now…I want …I love you Tomoyo."  
Tomoyo nodded as tears spilt from her eyes "I love you too. Yes, of course. I'll marry you."

……………..

Syaoran sat on the couch in a consuming darkness. He stared across to the door on the other side. It didn't make sense that he was alone. With everything that has been happening, he let his emotions get the best of him. He thought of his Sakura, his beautiful cherry blossom. He just wanted to hold her and forget about everything. Before he could get up, there was a figure standing by the door. She wore a t-shirt and pink cotton shorts. She leaned her head on the doorframe.

"We aren't best friends anymore." She said motionless in her disposition.

He nodded "Come here."

She walked up to him and sat next to him. He put his arms around her forcing her into a hug that she keenly accepted. "I know." He slowly released her.

"I'm only starting to accept that. We were like twins, our friendship was flawless but this is far better."

Sakura smiled "It is, I'm sorry I didn't..."

Sakura cut him off "Let's just forget about it. I think we both reacted the way we did because it was our first fight." He kissed her forehead.

She leaned her head on his chest "I love you."

He pulled her closer "Me too." He looked at her then shifted his gaze "There is just one thing I'd like to know; why were you mad at me on the night of your birthday."

"It's silly, you'll laugh." She said to him simply.

"Then tell me."

She took a deep breath then smiled sheepishly "I thought…" she flushed coyly "I thought you were going to propose and when you didn't I thought that you changed your mind because of the news of your parents' divorce."

He held her hand then slipped his fingers between hers "Oh, I…."

"You don't have to say anything, it's alright." She beamed. "All that matters is that we're together."

Syaoran could not believe it, she was onto him. He did buy her an engagement ring but he only planned to propose next Saturday when they take a trip to Spain. He kissed her forehead and thought to himself "You're just going to have to be a little more patient."

…………………..

The End

A/N: Sorry this took long, my studies are taking their toll. Sorry there is no lemon for the fans who were anticipating it. I'm not good at writing that. I would put it, if I didn't have to write it. Thanks for the support. Bye


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